21 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship By Marni Feuerman Expert HEABREAK. Love You First Good relationships don't make you #FeelSad Domestic violence is once again in the forefront by Matthew Santoro, explaining using his personal experience with his own emotionally abusive relationship. Abuse is not always as obvious as being hit or shoved, called degrading names or cussed out. In fact, it can very well be underhanded or subtle. You may find yourself feeling confused about the relationship, off balance or like you are "walking on eggshells" all the time. This is the kind of abuse that often sneaks up on you as you become more entrenched in the relationship. I'm talking here about psychological abuse — also known as mental or emotional abuse. Psychological abuse occurs when a person in the relationship tries to control information available to another person with intent to manipulate that person's sense of reality or their view of what is acceptable and not acceptable. Psychological abuse often contains strong emotionally manipulative content and threats designed to force the victim to comply with the abuser's wishes. All abuse takes a severe toll on self-esteem. The abused person starts feeling helpless and possibly even hopeless. In addition, most mental abusers are adept at convincing the victim that the abuse is his/her fault. Somehow, the victim is responsible for what happened. A more sophisticated form of psychological abuse is often referred to as "gaslighting." This happens when false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. Examples may range simply from the abuser denying that previous abusive incidents ever occurred to staging bizarre events with the intention of confusing the victim. I listened to a client tell me that her husband denied an affair after his she found a racy email to another woman on his computer and confronted him. The husband vehemently denied this and went so far as to send an email to his tech guy asking how his account could have been hacked and to fix the problem! A common form of emotional abuse is "I love you, but ... " That may sound nice at first, yet it is both a disguised criticism and a threat. It indicates, "I love you now, but if you don't stop this or that, my love will be taken away." It is a constant jab that slowly strips away your self-esteem. Abusers get a lot of reinforcement out of using the word "love" as it seems to become a magic word to control you. Abusers at times do what I call "throw you a bone." I have heard countless times from clients that their partner was "nice," "complimentary," "gave me a gift," etc. as if it should erase all of the bad treatment. You need to understand that this is part of the dynamic and cycle of abuse. In fact, it is rare for abusive relationships to NOT have these (often intense) moments of feeling good, overly sincere apologies or attempts to make up for the bad behavior. The victim clings to hope when these moments occur and the abuser knows this. Here are some signs to watch for if you think you or a friend may be in psychologically abusive relationship: Humiliating or Embarrassing Constant put-downs Hypercriticism Refusing to communicate Ignoring or excluding you Extramarital affairs Provocative behavior with opposite sex Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice Unreasonable jealousy Extreme moodiness Mean jokes or constantly making fun of you Saying "I love you but..." Saying things like "If you don't _____, I will_____" Domination and control Withdrawal of affection Guilt trips Making everything your fault Isolating you from friends and family Using money to control Constant calling or texting when you are not with him/her Threatening to commit suicide if you leave It's important to remember is that psychological abuse is absolutely not your fault. Abusers are expert manipulators with a knack for getting you to believe that the way you are being treated is your fault. These people know that everyone has insecurities, and they use those insecurities against you.

For 6 Years, Jonathan was Busy Drinking, Making Merry--MEND

For 6 Years, Jonathan was Busy Drinking, Making Merry--MEND

Leaders of the Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger-Delta, MEND, undergoing trials in South, and Nigeria, Henry and Charles Okah yesterday declared that former President Goodluck spent six years in office (2009-2015) drinking and having fun, contrary to the ex-leader's claim to a myriad of legacies. The Okah brothers while denying allegations by Jonathan that they were trying to assassinate him, said they would take him to court over the allegations. Spokesperson of Movement for Emancipation of the Niger Delta, MEND, Jomo Gbomo, disclosed this online while reacting to Jonathan’s response to the accusation by the Reformed Niger Delta Avengers, RNDA, that he (Jonathan) was the grand patron of Niger Delta Avengers, NDA. MEND asserted: ‘’A substantial portion of Mr. Jonathan’s statement unfortunately dwelt on judicial matters, which are pending in various courts in Nigeria and South Africa. ‘’For instance, Mr. Henry Okah’s appeal in South Africa’s Constitutional Court is due for hearing this August, while his brother, Charles’ ongoing trial in Nigeria is pending before Hon. Justice Gabriel Kolawole of the Federal High Court in Abuja. “The former President’s statement was, therefore, contemptuous and prejudicial to the success of the ongoing trials of Henry and Charles Okah in South African and Nigerian courts, respectively. Consequently, both brothers shall, because of the former President’s prejudicial statement, institute legal action against him in South Africa and Nigeria within 60 days, commencing from today, August 8, 2016. “Accordingly, they have briefed their respective solicitors to formally engage the former President in litigation,” Jomo Gbomo stated. Commenting on Jonathan’s attempt to dissociate himself from the RNDA allegation, MEND said: “With all due respect, the entire statement was deeply provocative and embarrassingly misconceived as it woefully failed to address the core issue of whether or not the former President was, indeed, the grand patron of NDA. “Rather, the statement employed diversionary tactics which dwelt extensively on sour grapes! Any follower of events in Nigeria and the Niger Delta privileged to read the statement released by Mr. Jonathan, would immediately observe that the former President had a score to settle with the Okah brothers as well as MEND, which have since May 30, 2014, stopped attacks on Nigeria’s oil and gas assets. ‘’They are currently engaged in dialogue with the Federal Government to find sustainable ways and means of ending the festering Niger Delta crisis, which was exacerbated by the former President’s ineptitude, incompetence and corruption during the six years he governed the country.” Media Adviser to the former President, Mr. Ikechukwu Eze, however disclosed that Jonathan was not in the country and could, therefore, not react allegations raised by the Okah brothers. The Statement from MEND stated further that ‘’Indeed, the problem in the Niger Delta today has nothing to do with the current administration of President Muhammadu Buhari, far from it. The problem is simply the failure of Mr. Jonathan to address the root issues confronting the region when he was at the helm.” “Even though he was from the impoverished region and had by his own admission in numerous electioneering campaigns, experienced utter poverty and abject neglect of the region foisted by successive Nigerian governments and the International Oil Companies since the discovery of oil in 1958 at Oloibiri (a few meters away from his native Otuoke) in Bayelsa State. Mr. Jonathan disappointingly frittered away the opportunity to rescue his people when the Nigerian Presidency fortuitously landed on his laps virtually on a platter of gold. “For six whole years, Mr. Jonathan was busy drinking, making merry and generally chasing shadows at the State House. Such a fellow deserves to be ostracized from the assembly of reasonable men because the Nigerian Presidency might never come back to the region as cheap as it came to Mr. Jonathan; perhaps in the next 100 years. “Lest we forget, MEND was at the forefront of the armed struggle back in 2006/2007, which forced President Olusegun Obasanjo to consider the option of drafting an Ijaw man into the mainstream of Nigerian politics. ‘’That was how the perpetually timid and naïve Goodluck Jonathan became Vice President and later, President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.” “When he assumed therein as President, he did the unthinkable; he tracked down perceived MEND leaders and promptly got them imprisoned on a trumped up charge of attempt to assassinate him. Up until today, Mr. Jonathan is still suffering from an Assassination Paranoia Complex (APC). “Back to the core issue, MEND cannot hold brief for the RNDA, which pointedly accused the former President of complicity in fuelling the ongoing Niger Delta crisis and patronizing the NDA, apparently for political reasons. ‘’We are, however, quick to point out the fact that the RNDA has merely vindicated MEND’s belief and conviction that the former President and his cronies, who lost the 2015 Presidential election were using the NDA platform to destabilize President Buhari’s government.” It reiterated that MEND was committed to working with the current administration to bring peace, stability and development to the Niger Delta and that the process had since commenced with the constitution of the Federal Government/MEND Aaron Team 2 Dialogue, Peace and Development Initiative. “Between August 22, 2016 and October 07, 2016, the Aaron Team shall embark on a tour of the Niger Delta. The proposed tour is code-named “Operation Moses” and the key focus of the tour is to persuade militants to ceasefire and support President Muhammadu Buhari in his determined and sincere effort to develop the region. “The tour shall also help to boost Nigeria’s oil production capacity as well as improve host community relations with oil and gas companies in the country,” it added. END

Reps, NNPC, DPR begin verification of oil blocks’ owners

August 9, 2016 • Reps, NNPC, DPR begin verification of oil blocks’ owners The House of Representatives in a session. Nigeria’s House of Representatives in a session. 09 August 2016, Abuja – The House of Representatives and the Department of Petroleum Resources (DPR) have begun verification of authentic holders of oil blocks licenses in Nigeria, chairman of an adhoc committee set up for that purpose, Hon. Gideon Gwani has disclosed. Gwani said recently in Abuja that the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Hon. Yakubu Dogara had set up an ad-hoc committee to investigate all the holders of Oil Mining Leases (OML) and Oil Prospecting Licenses (OPL) in the country with a view to making appropriate recommendations to the federal government as revenue accruing from oil sales dwindles. Acording to him, the committee was undertaking the verification with the DPR, and the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC). He said as part of the exercise, the committee recently visited oil firms such as Belemaoil which owns an offshore license – OML 55, in Rivers State, and where he expressed his delight that an indigenous company has invested massively in oil production in the country. A statement from Belemaoil which signed by its media advisor, Victor Ivoke quoted Gwani to have said when the committee visited the company that they were investigating the situation of oil companies operating in the Niger Delta area as well as ascertain the number of OPL and OML issued in the country. He noted that part of their mandate was to meet all the holders of such licenses to see if they are in operation or abandoned. “Our committee’s job is also to make sure that those holding these mining rights have gone through due process. Those who did not go through due process we shall recommend that they relinquish such rights because they are doing business illegally. “We have just started the investigation and now at the verification stage and we want to see if the foreign companies doing business in Nigeria are registered with the Corporate Affairs Commission. “At the end of this investigation, we will analyse all the information collated about every company and make appropriate recommendation to the House of Representatives. We are doing this investigation in concert with the Department of Petroleum Resources (DPR) which is the regulatory body and the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC),” Gwani said. He stated on the status of Belemaoil, that they were making use of it and can be seen from evidences from DPR affirming that their approval on OML 55 operatorship was genuine. “We hope that many more companies can borrow a leaf from Belemaoil and do what Belemaoil has done particularly for their host community where they have employed so many youths in the area,” he noted. Commenting on reported call that more oil blocs should be allocated to the indigenes of Niger Delta, Gwani said such call was justified, adding that it was one of the reasons for the committee’s investigation. He reportedly said: “That is why we are carrying out this investigation. We believe that when some of these oil blocks that were illegally acquired are relinquished, it will create an opportunity for some members of the host communities to participate in the acquisition process. “By this, Niger Delta indigenes will have opportunity to do business with these resources in their domain and also contribute to the national economy. I believe that if we allow indigenes of Niger Delta to own some of these oil wells, we will have peace in the area and the country will witness stable economic growth. As a committee, we will investigate those who have not paid signature bonuses, rents and royalties and we shall insist that they make such payments to the federal government.” News Via- SweetCrudeReports.com

2016 budget: How Buhari Slashed Saraki, Dogara's 500bn Constituency Projects to N100billion

Facts emerged yesterday that President Muhammadu Buhari at a meeting at Aso Rock in April, insisted that a padded budget for regional intervention projects for both Senators and members of the House of Representatives be reduced from over N450 billion to a mere N100billion.

Though section 2 and 59 of the 1999 constitution empowers the National Assembly to increase the proposals for ministries, agencies of government and intervention projects, the president tktalksblog.com, can authoritatively reveal that the president had refused flatly to

Buhari Moves To Stop Senators, Reps Plan to Scrap DPR, PPPRA

National Assembly's version of the controversial Petroleum Industry Bill recommends the dissolution of the Department of Petroleum Resources(DPR)and the Petroleum Products Pricing and Regulatory Agency(PPPRA).

But according to sources at the presidency, negotiations would soon kick off with the lawmakers to drop the Bill.

The Bill or proposed law titled: Petroleum Industry Governance Bill, 2016, is sponsored by