Tuesday, 28 February 2017

I'm not attractive to my spouse again and I am wondering what I should do

If you no longer finds your husband attractive because of the drama you are going through in your marriage, i am advising you today to hold on the things that attract you about him before , Is it his looks? The way he dresses? Or was he romantic? Now, what has changed? If nothing has really changed, then you must concentrate on those things that you liked about him & take your mind off the negatives. If those things you liked about him are no longer there, then you must find nice & loving ways tell your man what you miss about him.
For more healthy marriage tips visit

posted from Bloggeroid

What you need as a single searching is not a "Wife" material but a partner that will turn you to a great material, a wife that will encourage you to be a great achiever
It may sound crazy, but that's what you should desire from a wife
When you take the "W" out and replace it with "L", you will find out that there is some thing greater than "Wife", which you need from a woman.

Every marriage needs life to survive not a just the wife.
See your wife as a "life" not only as a "wife" and your marriage will definitely live long.
"Wife material" can do all the cooking in the world and still watch the marriage die, but a "Life material" may not be the best cook, but will make sure the marriage never dies.

Don`t just get a wife material and lose your life material. A good woman is better than silver and Gold..including the rubies and other precious stones.
A woman committed to you will not leave you miserable but a woman who only loves you can walk away at anytime when the love withers.
May the joy of the Lord be with you

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, 25 February 2017


I was standing in front of them, feeling as though I was completely naked before them. Hard as I tried to appear unruffled and un-intimidated by their aparenace, I couldn't quite achieve that. I simply lacked the courage to put up a bold front, everyone of the robbers could see I was barely able to stand on my legs, the poor things were quivering so hard you could almost hear them knocking against each other. Inside me, I continued to pray “…the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want…”
“You!” the Capone turned to me. “Where are the others? Where's everybody?”
“There's…there's no one else here except me and my daughter,” I answered, my voice visibly shaking.
“Your husband nko?” one of the other three asked. They were already busy ransacking the house, except for the Capone that was talking to me.
“He's not…he's not around, he's travelled,” I responded.
“Where is your daughter?”
I pointed to my daughter's room. “In there, she's sleeping. Please don't harm her, she's only a baby. You can take anything you want but please don't harm me and my daughter.” I pleaded with them, tears already starting to well up in my eyes.
The Capone regarded me for a brief spell and then turned to his boys.
“Hey, guys, search everywhere, every corner, and be sure there's no one else in here. But let me warn you, woman, if they find that you've been lying to us, consider yourself dead, you understand?”
I nodded frantically, hoping and praying to find I'd only been dreaming all the while, that this was nothing but a terrible nightmare. Less than a minute after, the guys emerged one after the other from different rooms.
“Nobody dey here, Capone,” they assured the guy whom I'd come to realize was their leader.
“Okay, now madam, what do you have for the boys? How much do you have in the house?” Capone asked me.
It was then I realized I didn't have much money in the house. In fact, all I had left on me was less than fifteen thousand naira. And I began to tremble even more.
“Please Sir, all I have in this house is just about fifteen thousand naira, I don't have money in the house, please I beg you in the name of God…”I was on my knees now, pleading to them.
“Fifteen thousand naira? Wetin we go do with that one?” Capone spat, his voice laced with unmistakable anger.
“Listen woman, you think we're looking for money to buy popcorn or what? Bring out better money for us or you won't like what we'll do to you o!”
“Please sir, I swear to you sir, I'm telling the truth, I don't have…”
“What about jewelleries, gold, don't you have any to give us?” the tall one that called me a goddess asked.
“I'm…I'm not a jewellery person, sir, I don't have any…”
“Ssssh! It's okay!”, Capone snapped at me. “Since you say you don't have money, and we don't need your fifteen thousand naira, then you must be willing to give us the only thing you have! Boys, take off her night gown and lay her on the couch for me!”
That very moment, I very nearly passed out. Everything around me seemed to be spinning and I began to feel sort of dizzy in the head. I felt one of them grab my hand, pulling me close to the couch that was not too far away from me. And my entire frame started to tremble, and deep in my heart I began to pray and wish this was nothing but a terrible nightmare… But then, the reality was that it wasn't a nightmare, it was for real. I was actually going to be raped by a gang of armed robbers!
“P-please…please….sir, I beg you in the name of God, please spare me,” I was pleading with them passionately. By now, I had thrown open the flood gates of my eyes and the tears were coursing down my face intensely.
“See, you're only wasting your time and ours too, let's do what we want to do and move on with our business!” the Capone said to me. Even as he spoke, he was already unbuckling his belt and closing in on me. I shuddered at the thought of what was about to happen to me. In desperation, I yanked my hands free from the grip of the guys holding me and went promptly on my knees right in front of their leader.
“Please, sir, for the sake of my little girl, please don't do this to me, I beg you”, the tears were running ceaselessly down my face. But I was only wasting my time. He wasn't even paying the least attention to me, he just went on trying to undo his jean trouser. Even when I tried to grab his legs and hold onto them and plead for mercy, he stepped back, moving away from my reach. It was when he pulled down his jean and let it drop at his feet and I came face to face with perhaps the largest and longest black manhood I'd ever seen that I realized I was in deep, deep trouble. It occurred to me to start shouting but quickly realized it would be an exercise in futility. No one would come to my rescue, the whole building seemed surrounded by the robbers and there were apparently still a handful of them robbing other apartments. So, what could I possibly achieve if I started shouting? The only thing I could possibly achieve was draw the wrath of the Capone. He was already livid with me for not having anything valuable in the house that they could go away with. There was no telling what he could do to me if I put up the most feeble of resistance. And like a ram led to the slaughter slab, I just closed my eyes and began praying inside, hoping a miracle would happen and the earth would open up and swallow me, or better still, swallow these animals! But that never happened…
One after the other, the bastards took me. They defiled me and made nonsense of my prized possession as a woman. By the time they were done, blood was streaming down from my private part. I'd been brutally torn inside out by these animals and they just couldn't give a hoot what became of me even as I writhed in excruciating pain on the floor as they took their leave.
I'd been to the hospital. After a series of tests I was certified okay by the doctor who attended to me. I have been trying to put the nightmare behind me, but it's been far from easy. Almost every night when I close my eyes to sleep, I see those sons of Lucifer. My mind plays back everything that happened and I become terrified all over again, as though it only just happened. Now, my husband is beginning to suspect something's wrong with me. The few times he's tried to make love to me after the incident, I became uncomfortable, even unwell and he's not finding the whole situation the least amusing. He's been asking questions, he's demanding answers. Dear readers, should I tell him what happened or keep it a secret for the rest of my life? To the men out there, what do you advise, will you still love me if I were your wife? Please help me, I'm dying inside

posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, 24 February 2017


I got this mail from a lady who identified herself simply as Bibi. When my colleague told me he had a mail he wanted me to see urgently, I'd almost dismissed the idea, thinking it was a mail I could check out at my convenience. I didn't realize then this was not one of those regular mails that usually flood our email box. This was different. This one hadn't been written for anyone to be entertained, it's a story that's come from a woman in utter pain and despair…A woman who very badly needs you and I to help her out of her misery. This is Bibi's story…

This has actually turned out to be one of the most difficult decisions I've had to make in my life. Not even in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that someday I would be pouring out my pain and agony on the pages of a magazine. Kudos must go to you, Wale, because if it wasn't for the fact that I read a lot of your stuff and I'd seen the sensible manner with which you handle issues, I wouldn't have felt comfortable enough with you and the public. But I trust that you will, in the end, do justice to my story and people will be touched enough to proffer whatever advice they have to help me out of this quandary.
My name is Bibi, a beautiful young lady in her late twenties. I am married to a wonderful husband and we're blessed with a lovely daughter. Deliberately, I am going to tell you very little or nothing about my husband. My fear is that anyone who knows both of us might be reading this and may figure out who the narrator is. If my little secret becomes public knowledge and my identity is found out, I honestly have no idea what could become of my marriage. And believe me, I don't want to find out, it certainly would not be palatable.
Godwin (he's barely known by this name) was a marketer with a top manufacturing firm when I met him. We became friends and soon decided to go the whole hog. A very hot steamy relationship started and we became lovers. We got married two years after and then our daughter came. Godwin soon moved into banking and that was when the good life actually started. Life simply couldn't have been more beautiful.
The nightmare I'm about to share with you happened some weeks ago. My husband had been away to Abuja on a two-week training programme. It was Saturday night and I'd been in the living room watching a late night movie when I heard the unmistakable sound of a gunshot. I was scared at first, but when I heard nothing again, I decided it was nothing to worry about, thinking it was either the local security officers at work, or some idiot was playing with those fireworks that are usually associated with the yuletide season. I returned my attention to the movie on Africa Magic. Little did I know then that I was about to experience the darkest, foggiest moment of my life.
I was already starting to doze off on the sofa when I heard a loud bang on the door. This was not exactly a gunshot, it was more like someone struck a huge metal on the door, trying to force it open. I was completely overwhelmed with fear. Pronto, I dashed into my daughter's room and locked the door from behind. Water was oozing from every pore on my body. My entire body was quivering with fear and I was just managing to stay on my two feet.
“Who dey this house? Who dey here?” I heard a scary voice call out from the living room.
I was just shivering inside the room. I held my little girl in my hands, the poor girl had no idea what was going on, she was enjoying every bit of her sleep.
“Shey nobody dey here, abi? If you make us waste our time here before you come out from wherever you're hiding, na death be dat o! I go make sure say na your own blood you go take baf this night!”
I was trembling, crying and praying. But I realized there was no point taking the risk, it was better I come out of my hiding and open up. And quietly, I began to unlock the door.
I had never been that scared in all my life. My heart was slamming hard against my chest as I turned the lock slowly with a hand that was far from steady. My fingers trembled and I had difficulty breathing properly.
There were four menacing looking men in the room when I opened the door. They were all wearing masks and were heavily clad in military combat gears, it was almost impossible to tell what they looked like even if they were all next door neighbours. But they all had a common feature-they were all tall, heavily built and had a fearsome look about them that warned you they were as dreadful as they looked.
“Campone, dis one na goddess o!” one of them, the tallest amongst them said.
“Shut up!” the Capone fired at him.
“Your own no pass woman!” The others laughed. I was standing in front of them, feeling as though I was completely naked before them. Hard as I tried to appear unruffled and unintimidated by their appearance, I couldn't quite achieve it. I simply lacked the courage to put up a bold front, everyone of the robbers could see I was barely able to stand on my legs, the poor things were quivering so hard you could almost hear them knocking against each other. Inside me, I continued to pray “…the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want…

...to be continued tomorrow

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, 20 February 2017

Why Do Men Cheat?

I love to unwind. Whenever I can make out time, which can be quite a luxury given the never ending pressure that comes with my job, I do love to give myself a treat. But I don't play so hard. I rarely night crawl, and when I have to, I do so with extreme caution. Most times, I run out of steam to party the whole night and would sneak back home to enjoy the comfort of my cosy little bed. I love to have my good stretch of sound blissful sleep, this remains to me the only way to keep my brains running at optimum level. But when I'm not attempting to night crawl, I drive down to my club, the Lagos Country Club, in the evenings after the day's work is done and try to let my feet up before heading home. The ambience and fantastic atmosphere of the prestigious club always does great work on my system, slowly easing out the accumulated stress I'd been carrying in my blood stream for days, and sometimes weeks on end. It becomes even more fun and exciting for me if I'm watching my club, the most successful English football club, Manchester United, on the giant screen, spanking teams silly!! It was during one of such evenings that I had the good fortune of spending time in the company of a group of slightly older friends.
The youngest of them couldn't be less than fifty years old. There were about five of them, all of them familiar faces I'd become acquainted with at the club. We had been 'gisting' about all sorts, from the madness going on in Rivers to the shocking proportions of corruption perpetrated by the Jonathan administration and of course, the dwindling fortunes of the nation's economy. Sometimes, talking about Nigeria and its myriad of problems can be as tiring as trying to survive in it. I was already starting to get bored talking about Naija but when the discussion veered into women and the many things they represent to us, I got involved again. Soon, questions as to why men cheat on their women came to the fore. And I was more than amused at some of the opinions expressed by these 'older friends' I was sharing the table with.
''Listen, guys, men are naturally made to be insatiable. One single woman cannot satisfy us'', the man they call Captain, obviously the most expressive of the lot, proffered. ''See, I suspect God Himself already knew what we were capable of and simply left us to our own devices in the garden of Eden with Eve. From the moment Adam realized he had been with a beautiful woman all the time, all alone, and began eating the 'real' fruit instead of the one hanging from the tree, our problem started! Adam never let the poor woman rest until he created an entire nation through her! Now, how do you think that came about? You surely must have a voracious appetite for sex to accomplish that!''
Nearly everyone seated at the table laughed at his theory, whether they agreed with him or not I couldn't tell.
''Well, I think that men are just naturally created to be more visually sensitive and active than women. A man is more moved by his visual perception of the opposite sex faster than the woman. And with the sort of things our ladies wear these days, plus their greedy hunt for money, they remain nothing but available and willing prey for men to feed on'', the man I'd come to know as C.J. was the next to speak. And I thought he made some sense.
''C.J. let's be honest with ourselves, do the women we call our wives help matters themselves?'' Engineer Davids, the man I suspect could be the oldest of the bunch joined in. ''When you find that, after just a couple of kids, the woman you call your wife is no longer the pretty, smart and fashionable woman you got married to, what other choice does a man have other than to shift his attention to the beautiful ones outside who tickle his fancy?'' the man had added. And I had to admit that he, too, made sense.
''What do you make of the ones that simply stop being romantic?'' Sir Kenny, obviously a naturally quiet person, added his voice. ''Simply because you've been dating or married for a while, they lose interest in those candle light dinners, the night outs, the steamy love making and those nice sweet sounding pet names you call yourselves, they just throw everything out of the window. Now, tell me, how won't you cheat on such a woman without batting an eye lid if you come across another who's willing to bring back all the sparks she's taken from your life?''
True. Well said. But I had a question for my 'friends'. '' But, Sir'', I'd turned to Engineer Davids, ''How about those women who do all of these things that we demand of them, like looking good, being fashionable and romantic, yet we still cheat on them, how do we explain that?''
The man simply smiled, then looked at me for a short spell before taking a long gulp from his glass of beer. ''Let me ask you, Wale, is it possible for you to be eating rice every day and not be tempted to taste pounded yam if you have the means to do so?''
I got his drift. But still, I didn't think we'd done enough justice to the subject. Yes, I do agree with some of the opinions they expressed, what I do not agree with is the fact that we only succeeded in passing over eighty percent of the buck on women. How about us? Why can't we concede the fact that we do have a problem, that we completely lack the capability to keep our emotions in check and call 'Little Johnny' to order? I have seen women who have loved their men with all their hearts, and even made incredible sacrifices to keep their relationship or marriage alive, yet that hydra headed monster the female folks call 'The Other Woman' still reared its ugly head. Sometimes, the woman suffers a lot of emotional pains that she may just never completely heal from. Some even lose everything they laboured to build with the man if the woman outside turns out to be too hot for them to handle. I personally know of a woman who lost her husband in the most dramatic of circumstances. The marriage was going quite well, or so it seemed. The woman, beautiful, respectful and industrious, had returned home one evening from the Island where she does business and was shocked to her marrows when she caught her housemaid in bed with her husband! She passed out on the spot. An even bigger shock awaited her when it was discovered that the maid was already carrying her husband's child! And the biggest shock of all? The man was determined to keep the child and marry the maid, it didn't matter to him whether his wife of twelve years and mother of his three children approved or not! Understandably, the woman couldn't stand the shame, she packed her things, and with her children in tow, moved out of her matrimonial home...same home she'd laboured and agonised to build with her husband...same home she'd sworn to protect and spend the rest of her days in.
Perhaps I should let you guys make your contributions. Why do we cheat on our women? Why is it that we can't stay faithful to that beautiful woman who loves us and could very well worship the ground on which we tread? Let me hear your views.
Article written by my colleague Wale Lawal
posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, 19 February 2017


She'd almost fallen asleep when she was jolted into full consciousness by gunshot sounds coming from the big screen in the living room. Her only child yet, Junior, had drifted into sleep while watching his favourite action movie. It was when she threw a frantic glance at the elegant looking gold framed wall clock inches away from her that she realized it was exactly twelve thirty a.m. and Dave, her husband, wasn't home from work yet! Stella let out an exasperated sigh. It irked her to imagine she'd been sitting on the staircase leading from their living room to the upper floor for over two hours waiting for Dave. She'd called his line ceaselessly but it was switched off. Last time they spoke earlier in the day, he'd snapped at her on the phone when she asked to know when he would be home. That wasn't a strange scenario between them. Not anymore. Snapping at her and returning home late from the office have since become a regular feature in their less than four year old marriage.
It was not always like this. Theirs had all the elements of a marriage made in heaven. Dave loved her to bits, which was why their courtship barely lasted seven months before they got married. And even after they were married and had Junior, his love for her soared as he loved and protected fiercely his wife and son. Shortly after Junior came, he moved them into this magnificent home in Lekki. Without a doubt, she had wealth and comfort at her beck and call, but most importantly, she had a man who loved her and considered her the most significant thing in his life. But things have since changed. Dave is no longer the man he used to be, he's no longer the man Stella fell in love with. Gone are those days when he showered her with love and affection, and made her thank her stars endlessly for bringing her a man who’s given her nothing but absolute joy and happiness. For months now, Dave has been a different man. He snaps at her over every little thing and seldom touches dinner most nights when he returns late from work. Sometimes, he'd sit with her in the room yet his mind wanders far away, almost as though she wasn't even there. Stella had asked him more than a few times if there was a problem, terribly worried that the gulf between her and her husband was getting wider with each passing day, still Dave insists there was nothing. But it's obvious he no longer loves her like he used to, as far as Dave was concerned, the love between them was dead. Yet, he says there's nothing wrong! So, what could it be? Why would a man who once loved her to pieces suddenly begin to treat her like she was merely a part of the furniture? What in heavens’ could've gone wrong? She was still searching for answers when she heard Dave drive in. Minutes later, with his own key, he opened the door and stepped into the room. He was surprised when he found Stella sitting on the stairs.
''What are you doing still awake?'' he asked her. There really was no genuine concern in his voice, he'd only asked because he felt he owed her the responsibility to do so.
''Waiting for you,'' Stella replied, concealing her anger at the fact that he was asking an obvious question.
Dave took a long puzzled look at her. ''Is that why you're crying?'' he'd thrown at her. That was when Stella realized she'd been weeping. The tears were silently coursing down her face.
But even that didn't make any difference to Dave, he dropped his bag on the dining table and began to ascend the stairs.
''Where...where are you going, Dave?'' Stella asked, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.
''To bed, of course!''
Stella watched him as he climbed the stairs past her and made to go inside. ''Who is she, Dave?'' she'd thrown at him.
Dave stopped in his tracks. He looked back. ''Sorry, what did you just say?'' he'd shot back at her.
Again, she wiped tears from her eyes. ''This woman, Dave, that's turned you against me and killed your love for me, who is she?''
She could've been talking to herself for all the attention Dave gave to her. He simply beamed her a wry smile, shook his head and walked away. And, Stella, this time, threw open the gates of her eyes and let the tears come tumbling down....
The above is a true life story, as told by the lady herself. Stella is not alone in this situation, this is one sad story every woman can possibly relate to. This week, we're looking at the factors that could make love die in a marriage. Why would a man who once loved his wife to death suddenly shut his door of affection on her face? What could make the love between them die an unnatural death? This is one subject that's so very dear to my heart, and I guess it's because I've seen quite a number of marriages and relationships collapse on account of this. What's your view on this subject? Why do you think some men will suddenly stop loving their wives? Reach us and let's talk about it.
Beautiful article written by my colleague Wale Lawal
posted from Bloggeroid

Tuesday, 7 February 2017


What matters in marriage is fulfillment of your destiny with the right spouse. Unlike other areas of life, ‘late’ marriage is not entirely bad, as long as you are married to the right person.

It is better to marry late and enjoy happy marriage with the right person than to marry early and suffer in marriage with a wrong person.
Most people embrace marriage as a result of pressure from peers and family. Others marry because they see others married.

But we must be warned: Marriage is a life time contract in which you spend the rest of your life with your spouse therefore be careful what you wish for a lifetime.

Before going into this lifelong project, you must take your time in searching and prayer. Do not rush into marriage because of family or peer pressure, because nobody is really interested in saving a marriage that is established on wrong principles.

The timeless wisdom remains that you should “Marry the one you love, but make sure he or she becomes your best friend. Marry someone who you wouldn’t mind waking up to every day for the
rest of your life. The one gives a reason for living.

Marry the one you don’t mind fighting with, because
they will be fair about it. Don’t marry someone who gives
their ego more importance, than they give you.

Marry someone who makes you the best version of
Yourself; the one who believes in you, even when you
don’t; the one who stands by you, through thick and thin.
Marry someone you can’t imagine your life without. Marry the one you are insanely in love with. And the one who is insanely in love
with you.

Marry the one who knows what you want to say, even when you’re too tired to say it with words. The one you can spend calm moments with from time to time. Marry your soul mate. Marry
your best friend.”

May you marry your soul mate, may you marry someone that will take care of you and not be an agent of frustration and sorrow in life.

posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, 3 February 2017

Facing challenges in marriage. here are some few tips on how to restore your marriage

All married couple.



Every rose flower has its own thorns. If you focus too much on your spouse's weakness, you can't get the best out of his/her strength. Count on God for He has no weakness.


No one is an Angel, therefore, avoid digging one's past. What should be your focus is the present life of your partner. Old things are passed away. Try to forgive and forget. The past can't be changed. So focus on the present and the future!


Marriage is not a bed of roses. Every flourishing marriage has gone through it's own test of hot and excruciating fire. True love is proven in times of challenges. Fight for your marriage! Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of needs. Remember this is the vow you made on your wedding day!


Don't compare your marriage with anyone else's! We can never have equal level of succes in marriage. Some will be in front and others far behind To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time, your marriage dreams shall come true.


When you marry, you must declare a war against enemies of marriage. Some of the enemies of marriage are: Ignorance, Prayerlessness, Unforgiving, Adultery, Third Party Influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack Of Love, Rudeness, bitterness, Laziness, Divorce Lack of friendship. Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.


There is no ready made- marriage anywhere. Marriage is hard work, volunteer yourself and perfect it daily. Marriage is like a CAR with Gear oil, gear box, back axles, etc and If these parts are not properly maintained, the car will break down somewhere along the road and exposing the occupants to unhealthy circumstances. - Many of us are careless about our marriages ... Are you? If you are, please pay attention to your marriage.


He (God) gives you, him or her in the form of raw materials in order for you to mold into what you desire. You may desire a man/woman who can pray for 1 hour but your husband/ wife can only pray for 30 minutes. With your love, prayer and encouragement, she can improve and vice versa.


You cannot predict what will happen after marriage, as situations may change. So, leave room for adjustments; Pregnancy may not come in the next 4 years, You get married to her because she's slim but she becomes 100% fat after a child, He may lose his beautiful job for years that you have to take the financial responsibility of the family until he gets a new job. But with God by your side, you will smile at last.


Marriage needs total commitment, love and friendship is the glue that makes a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind where there's doubts. Never think of divorce! Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married! God hates divorce


Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money you deposit into your bank account that you can withdraw. If you don't deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate of a blissful home. There is no free love in marriage, You cannot love without giving and sacrificing.

May God Give us The Grace And Wisdom To Build A Heaven on Earth Marriage.
Shalom! Shalom!! Shalom!!!

posted from Bloggeroid