Sunday, 5 November 2017

Is your man a BULLY?: See how you can overcome the pain...


Sometimes in our relationships or marriage, things don't turn out the way they should for us. As we evolve with the relationship/ marriage, we change. Sometimes, we change for the good, and sadly, sometimes, it could be for the bad. The shock of watching how our once loving and affectionate partners transform into a totally different human being, almost like a complete stranger, can really be shattering. This is when the man who once could kiss the ground on which you walked suddenly becomes a sadist who appears to be truly delighted only when he sees you sad. And when that is not happening, he bullies you. He tries to make your day unbearable until he breaks you and you fall apart, only then would he back off and let you be. Now, he is happy. How can a woman endure a marriage/relationship like this? How do you continue to live with a man who seems to have absolutely no feelings for you anymore? Here are some tips we think can help. Now, these may not be foolproof neither can we give you an automatic guarantee that the situation will change drastically. The change, hopefully, will come, but it could be slow. Patience is the watchword here. And of course, prayers. The following are ways we think the pain and the trauma you feel can be overcome. 

NO SELF PITY: This is a cardinal law when you are going through a situation like this. It is in fact, the very first thing you must know, no self pity! Stop feeling
sorry for yourself. Wallowing in self pity will not change anything, you've gotto snap out of your depression and get your groove back again. 
Read motivational materials, watch inspiring movies that will lift up your spirit. Tell yourself no man can break you, no matter how much you love him.

NO CONFRONTATION: This is also as important as the first one. No confrontation, it may only make things worse. If you must stand up to your man, do it with caution. Don't let tempers flare, don't let rage get the better of either of you because when when these things get out of hand, there's no telling what the outcome could be. Talk him gently, appeal to his emotions, let him know you still care a great deal about him and that he's hurting you badly. Most importantly, tell him you wish you could both start all over again and go back to the good old days when you both brought each other and made each other smile endlessly every single day. 

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: No matter what happens in your marriage, no matter how much your man bullies you and bruises your ego, you must not lose your self esteem. You must continue to believe in yourself. You must see yourself as a beautiful woman with her own unique and amazing qualities. Sometimes, the woman tends to start thinking she must be the ugliest, or the most useless woman alive judging by the by the way her man treats her like a piece of trash. Don't let him do this to you, the greatest injustice any woman can do to herself is to start seeing yourself as useless because a man told you you are!

GET BUSY: One of the fastest ways a woman can deal with the pain of an unloving and uncaring partner is by getting yourself engaged in productive stuffs. It could be your career, your business, or some kind of vocation you just discovered, anything that could get your mind off the pain you're feeling inside.

GIVE HIM SPACE: Don't bug him, let him be. Give him time to come to his senses and process rationally all of the terrible things he's done to you. Avoid situations that could bring up issues between both of you, simply go about your duties in the house and speak to him when you need to but don't go looking for his attention or affection yet unless you're sure he's starting to feel remorseful.

TAKE CARE OF HIM: Now, this may be the hardest part, but so long as you still love him and wishes to remain with him, then you must not stop taking care of him, and that starts with cooking for him the meals he loves. Don't ignore his meals because both of you are barely talking at the moment, go out of your way to do the things he likes, yet don't make yourself too open for him to trample upon all over again. 

PRAY HARD: Every virtuous woman must know how to pray. When situations like this come up, you take your case to God and hand over your husband to him so he can perform a spiritual operation on his brain that would make him return to his senses. Inside that stranger that's wearing the skin of your husband is the man you fell in love with. Pray hard and reach out to that man and he will surely come back to you.

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