I love to unwind. Whenever I can make out time, which can be quite a luxury given the never ending pressure that comes with my job, I do love to give myself a treat. But I don't play so hard. I rarely night crawl, and when I have to, I do so with extreme caution. Most times, I run out of steam to party the whole night and would sneak back home to enjoy the comfort of my cosy little bed. I love to have my good stretch of sound blissful sleep, this remains to me the only way to keep my brains running at optimum level. But when I'm not attempting to night crawl, I drive down to my club, the Lagos Country Club, in the evenings after the day's work is done and try to let my feet up before heading home. The ambience and fantastic atmosphere of the prestigious club always does great work on my system, slowly easing out the accumulated stress I'd been carrying in my blood stream for days, and sometimes weeks on end. It becomes even more fun and exciting for me if I'm watching my club, the most successful English football club, Manchester United, on the giant screen, spanking teams silly!! It was during one of such evenings that I had the good fortune of spending time in the company of a group of slightly older friends.
The youngest of them couldn't be less than fifty years old. There were about five of them, all of them familiar faces I'd become acquainted with at the club. We had been 'gisting' about all sorts, from the madness going on in Rivers to the shocking proportions of corruption perpetrated by the Jonathan administration and of course, the dwindling fortunes of the nation's economy. Sometimes, talking about Nigeria and its myriad of problems can be as tiring as trying to survive in it. I was already starting to get bored talking about Naija but when the discussion veered into women and the many things they represent to us, I got involved again. Soon, questions as to why men cheat on their women came to the fore. And I was more than amused at some of the opinions expressed by these 'older friends' I was sharing the table with.
''Listen, guys, men are naturally made to be insatiable. One single woman cannot satisfy us'', the man they call Captain, obviously the most expressive of the lot, proffered. ''See, I suspect God Himself already knew what we were capable of and simply left us to our own devices in the garden of Eden with Eve. From the moment Adam realized he had been with a beautiful woman all the time, all alone, and began eating the 'real' fruit instead of the one hanging from the tree, our problem started! Adam never let the poor woman rest until he created an entire nation through her! Now, how do you think that came about? You surely must have a voracious appetite for sex to accomplish that!''
Nearly everyone seated at the table laughed at his theory, whether they agreed with him or not I couldn't tell.
''Well, I think that men are just naturally created to be more visually sensitive and active than women. A man is more moved by his visual perception of the opposite sex faster than the woman. And with the sort of things our ladies wear these days, plus their greedy hunt for money, they remain nothing but available and willing prey for men to feed on'', the man I'd come to know as C.J. was the next to speak. And I thought he made some sense.
''C.J. let's be honest with ourselves, do the women we call our wives help matters themselves?'' Engineer Davids, the man I suspect could be the oldest of the bunch joined in. ''When you find that, after just a couple of kids, the woman you call your wife is no longer the pretty, smart and fashionable woman you got married to, what other choice does a man have other than to shift his attention to the beautiful ones outside who tickle his fancy?'' the man had added. And I had to admit that he, too, made sense.
''What do you make of the ones that simply stop being romantic?'' Sir Kenny, obviously a naturally quiet person, added his voice. ''Simply because you've been dating or married for a while, they lose interest in those candle light dinners, the night outs, the steamy love making and those nice sweet sounding pet names you call yourselves, they just throw everything out of the window. Now, tell me, how won't you cheat on such a woman without batting an eye lid if you come across another who's willing to bring back all the sparks she's taken from your life?''
True. Well said. But I had a question for my 'friends'. '' But, Sir'', I'd turned to Engineer Davids, ''How about those women who do all of these things that we demand of them, like looking good, being fashionable and romantic, yet we still cheat on them, how do we explain that?''
The man simply smiled, then looked at me for a short spell before taking a long gulp from his glass of beer. ''Let me ask you, Wale, is it possible for you to be eating rice every day and not be tempted to taste pounded yam if you have the means to do so?''
I got his drift. But still, I didn't think we'd done enough justice to the subject. Yes, I do agree with some of the opinions they expressed, what I do not agree with is the fact that we only succeeded in passing over eighty percent of the buck on women. How about us? Why can't we concede the fact that we do have a problem, that we completely lack the capability to keep our emotions in check and call 'Little Johnny' to order? I have seen women who have loved their men with all their hearts, and even made incredible sacrifices to keep their relationship or marriage alive, yet that hydra headed monster the female folks call 'The Other Woman' still reared its ugly head. Sometimes, the woman suffers a lot of emotional pains that she may just never completely heal from. Some even lose everything they laboured to build with the man if the woman outside turns out to be too hot for them to handle. I personally know of a woman who lost her husband in the most dramatic of circumstances. The marriage was going quite well, or so it seemed. The woman, beautiful, respectful and industrious, had returned home one evening from the Island where she does business and was shocked to her marrows when she caught her housemaid in bed with her husband! She passed out on the spot. An even bigger shock awaited her when it was discovered that the maid was already carrying her husband's child! And the biggest shock of all? The man was determined to keep the child and marry the maid, it didn't matter to him whether his wife of twelve years and mother of his three children approved or not! Understandably, the woman couldn't stand the shame, she packed her things, and with her children in tow, moved out of her matrimonial home...same home she'd laboured and agonised to build with her husband...same home she'd sworn to protect and spend the rest of her days in.
Perhaps I should let you guys make your contributions. Why do we cheat on our women? Why is it that we can't stay faithful to that beautiful woman who loves us and could very well worship the ground on which we tread? Let me hear your views.
Article written by my colleague Wale Lawal
The youngest of them couldn't be less than fifty years old. There were about five of them, all of them familiar faces I'd become acquainted with at the club. We had been 'gisting' about all sorts, from the madness going on in Rivers to the shocking proportions of corruption perpetrated by the Jonathan administration and of course, the dwindling fortunes of the nation's economy. Sometimes, talking about Nigeria and its myriad of problems can be as tiring as trying to survive in it. I was already starting to get bored talking about Naija but when the discussion veered into women and the many things they represent to us, I got involved again. Soon, questions as to why men cheat on their women came to the fore. And I was more than amused at some of the opinions expressed by these 'older friends' I was sharing the table with.
''Listen, guys, men are naturally made to be insatiable. One single woman cannot satisfy us'', the man they call Captain, obviously the most expressive of the lot, proffered. ''See, I suspect God Himself already knew what we were capable of and simply left us to our own devices in the garden of Eden with Eve. From the moment Adam realized he had been with a beautiful woman all the time, all alone, and began eating the 'real' fruit instead of the one hanging from the tree, our problem started! Adam never let the poor woman rest until he created an entire nation through her! Now, how do you think that came about? You surely must have a voracious appetite for sex to accomplish that!''
Nearly everyone seated at the table laughed at his theory, whether they agreed with him or not I couldn't tell.
''Well, I think that men are just naturally created to be more visually sensitive and active than women. A man is more moved by his visual perception of the opposite sex faster than the woman. And with the sort of things our ladies wear these days, plus their greedy hunt for money, they remain nothing but available and willing prey for men to feed on'', the man I'd come to know as C.J. was the next to speak. And I thought he made some sense.
''C.J. let's be honest with ourselves, do the women we call our wives help matters themselves?'' Engineer Davids, the man I suspect could be the oldest of the bunch joined in. ''When you find that, after just a couple of kids, the woman you call your wife is no longer the pretty, smart and fashionable woman you got married to, what other choice does a man have other than to shift his attention to the beautiful ones outside who tickle his fancy?'' the man had added. And I had to admit that he, too, made sense.
''What do you make of the ones that simply stop being romantic?'' Sir Kenny, obviously a naturally quiet person, added his voice. ''Simply because you've been dating or married for a while, they lose interest in those candle light dinners, the night outs, the steamy love making and those nice sweet sounding pet names you call yourselves, they just throw everything out of the window. Now, tell me, how won't you cheat on such a woman without batting an eye lid if you come across another who's willing to bring back all the sparks she's taken from your life?''
True. Well said. But I had a question for my 'friends'. '' But, Sir'', I'd turned to Engineer Davids, ''How about those women who do all of these things that we demand of them, like looking good, being fashionable and romantic, yet we still cheat on them, how do we explain that?''
The man simply smiled, then looked at me for a short spell before taking a long gulp from his glass of beer. ''Let me ask you, Wale, is it possible for you to be eating rice every day and not be tempted to taste pounded yam if you have the means to do so?''
I got his drift. But still, I didn't think we'd done enough justice to the subject. Yes, I do agree with some of the opinions they expressed, what I do not agree with is the fact that we only succeeded in passing over eighty percent of the buck on women. How about us? Why can't we concede the fact that we do have a problem, that we completely lack the capability to keep our emotions in check and call 'Little Johnny' to order? I have seen women who have loved their men with all their hearts, and even made incredible sacrifices to keep their relationship or marriage alive, yet that hydra headed monster the female folks call 'The Other Woman' still reared its ugly head. Sometimes, the woman suffers a lot of emotional pains that she may just never completely heal from. Some even lose everything they laboured to build with the man if the woman outside turns out to be too hot for them to handle. I personally know of a woman who lost her husband in the most dramatic of circumstances. The marriage was going quite well, or so it seemed. The woman, beautiful, respectful and industrious, had returned home one evening from the Island where she does business and was shocked to her marrows when she caught her housemaid in bed with her husband! She passed out on the spot. An even bigger shock awaited her when it was discovered that the maid was already carrying her husband's child! And the biggest shock of all? The man was determined to keep the child and marry the maid, it didn't matter to him whether his wife of twelve years and mother of his three children approved or not! Understandably, the woman couldn't stand the shame, she packed her things, and with her children in tow, moved out of her matrimonial home...same home she'd laboured and agonised to build with her husband...same home she'd sworn to protect and spend the rest of her days in.
Perhaps I should let you guys make your contributions. Why do we cheat on our women? Why is it that we can't stay faithful to that beautiful woman who loves us and could very well worship the ground on which we tread? Let me hear your views.
Article written by my colleague Wale Lawal
Good topic. Nice write up. Thought provocking.
ReplyDeleteJessy please keep the Write-ups SHORT. This is too long and a turn off for folks who are in a hurry!
ReplyDeleteThis is a FEEDBACK not criticism
Delete