Tuesday, 25 April 2017

DO WOMEN STILL GET THE RESPECT THEY DESERVE?

I miss old school. I miss the music, I miss the life style. But most especially, I miss the way we wooed women back then. Back in the day, men treated women with a lot of respect and handled them with tenderness. And I must add too, that women conducted themselves with a lot more decency than we see these days. Their dressing was way better, not the sort that usually leaves little to the imagination nowadays. What you get now from a lot of our ladies is nothing but fake 'phonee' that's usually well concealed in their often sweet sounding voice, making it not so easy to detect their flaws. But let me not digress, this article is not exactly about what our women are lacking these days, its about what we, the guys, are not doing right with the women! 

Back in the day, starting off a relationship with a woman was usually a fairly long, sometimes intricate but exciting process. There was no social media then, so we didn't have the luxury of going on facebook to chat with ladies we had never met before. Usually, you get to meet her through a mutual friend who would introduce you to each other. If you went straight to her, chances were that you could meet a brick wall because she doesn't know you and has no idea the sort of person you are. You had to be patient with her. You had to wait till she was comfortable with your personality enough to want to be your friend. Unfortunately, that's not what you'll find today. Guys now consider the average woman cheap, gullible and materialistic. 'Let your money speak for you,' they say. 'Give her a little treat and promise her the world and she'll be in your bed in a matter of days.' Little wonder they see women as some piece of property they acquired with their money and as such can treat and speak to them any way and any how they choose. This is not only wrong but barbaric as well. I mean, how can you claim to love a woman whom you literally treat no differently from the collection of furniture occupying some space in your home? You could get away with this for a some time, but after a while, there surely would be a backlash. Your woman will eventually learn to stand up for her herself and trust me, you won't like the transformation!

Another part of the old school way of relating to women that I think men can still find quite handy is the chivalrous nature of treating women back then. We opened car doors to let them in or out of the car and sent them cards and flowers sometimes just to remind them how much they still send our hearts skipping at the sound of their voice. There are men who still enjoy sharing the cooking with wifey and helping out with a bit of the chores. Yeah, I get it, you can't ever do that, right? Makes you look like a 'woman wrapper', abi? Too bad you feel that way, but the reality is that if you wish to have a truly blissful and enduring relationship, and enjoy your woman's unconditional love, then you must be willing to support her at all times. It is sad that in this day and age, some men still believe the woman's only responsibility is to take care of the house, take care of the kids and take care of them as well. Like, that's what she signed up for when she married you, right? While you sit down in your favourite chair in the house watching football on a hot Saturday afternoon, she is running all over the place cooking, cleaning, washing and ensuring your meal is served just the way you like it. You don't get up to support her. You don't even lift a finger to help. Yet, when she's all fagged out and aching all over after being on her feet all day, you still expect her to lie on her back for you in bed that same night while you bump and grind! Seriously? How would that work? In fact, if you ask me, one of the ways to get your woman looking forward to being in your arms in bed is when you spend time doing chores together. It builds a different kind of intimacy that is special and beautiful. But then, if you still think it's a sign of weakness to support your woman, then I can only feel sorry for you.

Finally, the one thing I find most unacceptable about the way some men treat their women is their abuse and absolute lack of respect for these women! Some men simply just don't know how to treat a woman like a lady. Sure, you can argue that some women can be quite irritable and obstinate to deal with, but as the man, you must show maturity and wisdom by handling them with some love and tenderness. Some men beat up their women in the house, yell at them in public, scold them openly before total strangers and shut them down should they wish to express their opinion over an issue. This is a shame and if truth be told, any man who does this shouldn't consider himself to be a man because REAL men don't disrespect their woman. Ask some of these guys why they do this and they might tell you women deserve to be so treated because a lot of them are no good. And if you ask where they got this from, you'll probably find out this is what they were led to believe by the irresponsible men around them while they were growing up. Here's news flash for you, guys, the truth is, there's probably no such thing as a no good woman, every no good woman was probably made no good by a no good man. Treat your woman with respect. Teach her with love and tenderness how to love you better and meet up with the standards you have set for her and for your self. When a woman is in love she'll be willing to do anything for her man, educating her on how to be your dream partner will certainly be the least of her worries. And the ladies, the good news is, there are still a few good men out there. Men who love and respect their women and treat them like the queen that they desire to be. Take your time, shine your eyes and search in the right places, and you shall find your own good man. Sometimes, you don't even have to go searching for him, he will find you, trust me...

Written by Wale Lawal

1 comment: