Advice on How to Save a Failing Marriage

Think back to when you met, and eventually married, the love of your life. You vowed your unconditional love for each other and formed an eternal bond, for better or worse and until death do you part. But somewhere, somehow, things hit a rough patch. Did you and your partner begin to bicker over money? Were pressures in the workplace weighing down on both of you? Have you grown apart as people?

Maybe the frustration you are feeling over these, or any other issues that have reared their ugly heads, has made it pretty difficult for you to recall

the beginning of a promising relationship, when life made sense and the future looked bright. As difficult as it may be, try as hard as you can to dig deep inside and look for that kernel of tenderness that nurtured your marriage at the outset. It is likely still there, just hidden beneath layers of confusion and selfishness. It must be worth rescuing, because you have decided to save a failing marriage.

Hopefully, you have noticed the warning signs of a marriage that is beginning to buckle at an early stage. You want to tackle the problems as early as possible; otherwise, a ball of anger will build up, and an explosion is imminent. As you probably know, you will fling that fireball at your spouse.

Nothing good can come of this and resentment from, and toward, each of you is the inevitable result. You absolutely must stop this negative emotion in its tracks, because if resentment is allowed to run rampant, there is no hope for you to communicate with each other.

Sure, it is sometimes uncomfortable to bare your soul to someone, even the one with whom you have exchanged eternal vows, but you have to speak up and let your significant other know how you feel. If you truly want to save a failing marriage, then you have to talk, and as soon as problems pop up. If you leave the words bottled up, then confusion can sadly lead to hard feelings, which can in turn lead to hatred. This is simply the point of no return. Put your pride aside and do not let it get that far.

You have probably heard it said that marriage is a two-way street. Or that it takes two to tango. Maybe you have received the sage advice that marriage is give and take. You have probably gotten sick and tired of hearing these clichés, but there is actually something to these adages. If you want to save a failing marriage, then you might want to take these words to heart. It is positively necessary that you understand that your issues are not exclusive to you.

Your partner has plenty of issues of their own, and you both need a chance to clear the air. If money is an issue, then remember that you both need food, transportation, and that at the end of the day, cash is either in abundance or you might have to start scrimping a little; both of you.

And it is sad but true, but every job is going to have its share of responsibilities and pressures that grate on your nerves; once again, both of yours. When it comes to laying out your issues for one another to consider, please keep in mind that patience is the key. Allow your spouse to get everything off their chest, and under no circumstances are you permitted to pass judgment if you wish to save a failing marriage.

This is something that you may not want to hear, but if you really want to save a failing marriage, then counseling might be a good option. Do not view it as a sign of weakness. Think of seeking the help of a marriage counselor as an opportunity for someone outside of the situation to hit the problems from angles you did not see. This does not mean that you are stupid or ignorant. It simply means that you have quite a bit of personal investment wrapped up in the relationship, and this led to desperation that clouded your thinking. A marriage counselor is a good person to bounce ideas off of.

Above all, do not assume that while you attempt to save a failing marriage that you will come across a quick fix, also known as the proverbial silver bullet. You need to take your time, be patient, and practice understanding. You need to concentrate on your own actions, sure, but you must also be accepting of your partner’s foibles and quirks.

You have your share, too, you can bet on it. Put things in the proper perspective, remember that compromise is essential, and you might just find yourself in a wonderful marriage once again.