Friday, 9 June 2017


It has become a general notion that daughters are usually closer to their dads than they are to their mothers. Well, we may not wish to contest this belief, but we know that, indeed, it can also be said that a lot of girls are way closer to their mothers than they are to their dads largely because mothers are the ones who are often always available for the kids when fathers are out at work. Again, our intent isn't to contest any widely accepted notion but to look at the situation critically and highlight its benefits.Personally, I have come to understand that some daughters are close to their dads, not necessarily because the father has been upright in his duties as a father, but possibly because he simply indulges her in some excesses that her mother would not allow. For instance, if a father who perpetually cheats on his wife and quarrels endlessly with her over this issue constantly approves of his seventeen year old daughter to go out partying with her friends and boys whenever she requests and even supplies her 'T-fare', he will always be liked and preferred by such daughter over the mum who would not approve of such frivolities. Now, would you say such father has been an upright and effective father? So, yes, it is good for our daughters to like us a great deal as fathers, but it is also important that it's for the right reasons. The following are some of the reasons and ways we must bring up our teenage girl child and help her become a confident, decent, intelligent and responsible young lady. 

SHOW LOVE: This is very important to the teenage girl. This is not the old school days when our fathers barely talked and share stuffs with the girl child except with the boys. Times have since changed. As a father, you must constantly engage your teenage daughter, get to know her friends, get to understand how she relates to the opposite sex and how she perceives them. Buy her gifts and get her lovely dresses she adores. And listen to her needs. When you can't meet some of her financial needs explain to her why she has to give you some time. Don't snap at her when you can't meet up with her needs, otherwise, some smart guy could realize her lack and take advantage of her.

LET HER KNOW SHE'S BEAUTIFUL: As a father, you must always constantly remind your daughters how beautiful they are. And this goes for their mother as well. This boosts their self esteem and confidence. If you don't tell you daughter how pretty she is and she has to go outside to to hear this, then you can be sure if she gets to hear this from a male, then it could come at a cost. But if she's used to daddy telling her she's the cutest daughter he's ever seen, and then some guy accosts her on the road and tells her she's beautiful, she's most likely to just shrug it off, after all, daddy tells her so everyday.

REMIND HER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE AND CARE FORE HER: This is also very important. When our daughters get to that age when they become curious about a lot of things, especially about matters of the heart, (usually starts from the age of 14) they become vulnerable. When they get to the age of fifteen, sixteen and seventeen, they start hoping to be loved and adored in a special way. While we acknowledge that it can be quite a task guarding our girls from these things, it also helps in a lot of ways if she gets a lot of love from home, and is reminded repeatedly by both mum and dad how much they love her. That way, when a guy with indecent intentions comes along and tells her he loves her, she would not at the very least be blown completely away because, thankfully, he won't be the first man to tell her so, daddy tells her same thing all the time!      

BE A RESPONSIBLE FATHER: It has often been said that a girl's first 'boyfriend' is usually her father. What this means is that when a girl is maturing and becoming fully aware of her natural endowments and her capabilities as a young lady, almost unconsciously, she begins to picture and envision the kind of guy she would love to date or marry through how she perceives her father. In other words, if she sees in her father a perfect gentleman who loves and adores her mother, she would look out for such traits in her partner or husband to be. If her father is well educated, carries himself confidently and is a dashing looking man who dresses extremely well, she would want that in her man. Indeed, her father automatically becomes her mirror and her lens through which sees the man of her dreams. So, in the same vein, if her father's a drunk, a cheat and irresponsible man, the danger is that, she might know no better and believe that is the norm with with men. She could also very well end up in the arms of another idiot and be condemned to remain miserable in marriage for the rest of her days. 

GIVE HER TREATS: When you can afford it, take your teenage daughters out and give them treats. But, please hold on a minute, please don't take them to those places she considers 'wack' and 'old school', take her to places that would excite her. If you're are at a loss as to where to take her, ask her, you'll be surprised at the sort of exquisite names your girl will come up with. She probably only hears the names on teevee or from a couple of her friends who've been there before, it would delight her to no end if daddy takes her there.And this time, it has to be just you and your girl. No mummy, no Junior, just you and your pretty little Princess! Now, how would some irresponsible guy with selfish intentions use such places you have taken her to entice her? Get the point? 

REGULAR PRIVATE TALKS: Make out time to often discuss with your teenage daughter. Let her know the way she sees life isn't quite the way it is. If you can, lecture her on boys and sex, hearing it from you, her best dad in the world, would make a ;lot more impact on her. Teach her moral values and why its important she conducts herself with decency and stay 100 percent focused on her studies rather than on frivolities. More importantly, along with your wife, teach her the ways of God and why she must at all times let the fear of the Almighty be upper most in her mind, especially when she moves to the higher institution where you can't monitor her. Create a fantastic relationship with your daughter where she can come freely to you whenever she has any problem bothering her mind.

Written by Wale Lawal. 

1 comment:

  1. Wow, beautiful write up. I never really taught of some of these things. Thank you Wale