Tuesday, 11 July 2017


It is no longer strange or unusual these days to hear wives complain about their husbands’ edgy state. For some, it’s even much worse. Their husbands are not just edgy, they also seem to have suddenly developed a short fuse too. They snap pretty easily these days, particular when their financial capabilities is being questioned and literally vent their frustration on anyone unfortunate enough to be close by at the time. While some wives have been quite reasonable enough to understand that it’s pressure and take things easy with their spouse, some others simply throw caution to the dogs and draw the battle line, ready to go toe-to-toe, fire for fire with their better half. Listen up, sweetheart, this certainly will do you no good. Two wrongs, definitely, can never bring forth any right. At this critical time of intense recession, most men are
going through some really rough patches. A lot of men have either lost their jobs completely or have had to agree to a sizeable slash of their income to enable their employers cushion the effect of the hard biting recession on the company they work for. The effect of this is that a lot of men are both psychologically and emotionally depressed at this time. Strip a man of his economic powers and he becomes shattered and empty. He loses his self esteem and his confidence as a man goes flying through the window. Now, you can imagine what can happen when you, as the wife, compound issues for him by not knowing when it is the wrong time to do or say some certain things.  The following are tips to help your man reduce stress this recession.

DON’T NAG HIM: Reduce arguments, especially if he’s just returned from work. Don’t ask him sarcastically why he’s coming home late. Instead, let him eat and rest first. Ask him how his day went and the traffic and empathize with him. Don’t start pressuring him for money, you can always do that at a much later and better time.
STAND BY HIM: Discuss the situation of things with your partner. Find out how he’s coping at work and how he’s managing to feed well while he’s at work considering that he’s running on very lean purse. Encourage him. Strengthen him. Assure him things will be better and let him know you have confidence in him and in his capabilities to provide for the family. Most importantly, pray even harder for him.
SHIELD HIM FROM PRESSURE: As his wife and partner, you must also be ready to take the heat for your man once in a while. If for instance the laundry man comes around to come pick up his money and your partner is asleep and you’re also aware he’s pretty broke at that time, there’s no point going to wake him up for the laundry man (remember he may have been having difficulty sleeping lately owing to the enormous pressure on his mind) now you want to deny him this sleep? That’s not fair, he really needs the rest. Go out there, talk to the laundry guy, assure him your husband will reach him once he’s awake but he needs to rest now. Whether it’s the landlord or the kids’ school proprietor calling to ask for their money, pick the call and handle the situation. You have no idea how much pressure all of these give him, helping him take some of it off him will surely be a huge relief to him.
DON’T REFUSE HIM SEX: This is a really bad time for any sensible and loving wife to refuse her man sex for whatever reason, except of course if she’s observing her period. If you’re the type of wife that’s already made this a habit, please stop. Letting your man hold you in his arms and bond emotionally and spiritually with you via sex is one sure way your man can get a large volume of the stress in his blood stream out in one night. But beyond that, making yourself available for him assures him he still has somebody who genuinely cares for him and his well being, recession or not.
MANAGE HIS MEAGRE RESOURCES WITH HIM: When he gives the little he can for feeding, task yourself and think deep to see how you can get good bargains in the market. Try to improvise ingredients where necessary and still serve him an amazing meal, instead of refusing what he’s giving you and complaining it won’t be enough.
TALK TO THE KIDS ON HIS BEHALF: Kids sometimes can be unbearable, they just don’t know when to stop bugging parents for money. Let them understand daddy is a bit under pressure now and should be given some time to attend to their financial demands. Tell them he hopes to get some money soon and shouldn’t be bugged endlessly until he gets the money.

SUPPORT HIM FINANCIALLY: If you can afford to, do support your man, especially in recession periods like this. Perhaps you also work or run a business, you can also help him pick some of the bills at home, till things pick up again. This will go a long way in reducing the burden on him and you can bet he’ll appreciate you for life.
PLAY WITH HIM: Whenever your man is feeling down and depressed, play with him. Gist with him. Lift his spirit. Whenever he’s feeling low, cheer him up. Remind him how much you love him and care about him, which is why you don’t want his BP to rise because you want to see him happy always despite the tough times.
REASSURE HIM OF YOUR LOVE AND COMMITMENT: Recession or no recession, let your man know your love will always be there waiting for him. Whether he’s no longer making as much money as he used to or not, reassure him nothing will change the way you feel about him. This will boost his ego and self esteem and give him the strength to carry on.
Written by Wale Lawal.

1 comment:

  1. This where most women get it wrong. This is am excellent piece and a must -read for all married women