10 KINDS OF WOMEN GUYS DISLIKE IN BED (PART 1)

It’s always vital not to leave a bad impression when you jump in the sack with your guy. Try cutting out the following, and he’ll be your friend for life.

For most people, sex is life and life is sex. The search for sexual pleasure cannot be compromised for anything. There is a general fixation on sex and anything related to it. What it is and how it is performed have kept many people-young and old- fascinated. People everywhere are constantly trying to better their performance in bed and to give their partners the best sexual pleasure they can.

But things don’t always go according to plan, because great sex seems always to elude many people to the extent that, rather than make their partners happy, they seem always to create dissatisfaction and at times, annoyance. Both parties are to blame for this state of sordid affairs, but to be specific, attention will be focused on those things that the females do that guys just positively dislike. Gone are the days when it was generally believed that guys are the only ones who can go wrong. If you’re a girl and you’re reading this, try not to commit the following sins…

THE FEMALE LOG

During sex, some women have this annoying habit of just lying down like a log of wood. Sure, women are takers and men are givers, but doing nothing and just taking seems a bit selfish, men don’t like this. Despite the fact that the man is on top, the woman should move and flow with the rhythm. By moving, you show your man that you love to have sex with him as much as he loves to have it with you. This not only makes him happy, but it encourages him in more ways than one. If your man is the type who cares about giving you pleasure and you lie there looking like you’re dead, then it might just affect his sexual performance, because no one loves to make love to a ‘dead’ woman.

THE LIPLESS BABE

Men hate it when women don’t use their lips. Almost every woman would agree that she likes to be kissed. Well, same goes for the men. They love it when women kiss them all over. This simply drives them crazy. If you want to satisfy your man in bed, kiss him, tease him and play with him. But if you want a recipe for a break up, then keep your lips to yourself.

THE CONTROL HATER

Guys hate it when women expect to be controlled all the time in bed. It’s true that a man should take control of the situation, but when he finds himself doing this all the time, then he would soon tire of the whole shenanigan. The only type of women who think that men should take all the control in bed are the old fashioned women. Modern day, proactive women assume some measure of control, or share control. Taking control send a strong message to the guy that you want it now! Dictate the pace and tell him what you want to do and what you want him to do to you, and you can be sure your man will be very excited and pleased. Sometimes, men just like to be controlled.

THE INSENSITIVE MATE

Insensitive women put men off. Just because you’re a woman and you expect to have a sensitive man at your beck and call doesn’t mean you can’t reciprocate in the same way. A man’s body is really sensitive and a woman who doesn’t know or take advantage of this can find herself ostracized emotionally. Ladies, don’t be egotistic, do your best to make him feel as good as he makes you feel.

THE SHY GIRL

Men are tired of taking the initiative to ‘turn on the heater; whenever the sex life gets tepid. They don’t always like to be the ones doing all the necessary moves needed to put a little shine on the sex. Once in a while, they’d love it when you take the bull by the horn and show up in the bedroom adorned in some sexy new outfit. While you’re still wearing that sex outfit, slow dance in a seductive manner and you’ll drive him crazy. Little teasing with sexy clothes gets them all excited about the upcoming sex. So ladies, don’t be shy. A shy woman in bed can make a guy curl up on the far side of the bed after it’s all over.

(Written by my colleague, Wale Lawal)

10 years after your wedding you discover that your partner has kids outside, what next?

Please drop you opinion in the comment section

10 Things Couples MUST DO Always To Stay Happily Married

Some couples seem to have that extra something that makes their marriage work a great deal. But exactly what are those secrets of happily married couples? What do they do that others don't? How have they been able to weather marital storms? Take a close look at these ten things listed below, are they a part of your marriage? Are they prominent in your marriage bible? 

1. GO TO BED TOGETHER: Going to bed at the same time almost all of the time shows that you want to experience the closeness that can only be found in bed. My friend says she found that some of their best conversations occur with her head on her husband's shoulder lying in bed. While simply lying down together in bed, they have taken some of the most important decisions in their marriage

2. HAVE SHARED INTERESTS: Sharing your interest and ideas with your life partner is one of the constant activities of happy couples. Stay together and find things that you both enjoy doing. Take out time from your busy schedules and indulge in those things that you both enjoy doing together..Could be going to the cinemas, picnics, playing indoor games, it could even be worshipping and praising God together.

3. HOLD HANDS: Holding hands says one thing clearly, that you're still in love. That you cherish just touching your partner and need that connection whether you're walking through a crowded place or just sitting on the couch builds a stronger bond. Inside the house, touch each other playfully. While she's preparing your favourite egusi soup, sneak into the kitchen and hold her from behind. When he's busy going through the dailies, lean close and peck him on the side of the face. These little things create great magic.

4. FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE: Remaining positive is one of the important secrets of happy married couples. Everyone has something that they dislike about their spouse, whether its the way he bites his finger nails or that she spends too much money on clothes. But couples that are happy focus more on the positive things about their spouse than the negative. They look not at the few things their spouse do wrong, but at all of the things they do right. 

5. FORGIVE: One of the hardest things to do is to forgive. But couples who desire to a happy marriage must learn to quickly forgive each other freely. Not only do they forgive each other, they also do not bring up past mistakes. Once the misdeed is forgiven, it is also forgotten. 

6. SAY, "I LOVE YOU": "I love you is a very important sentence happy married couples like to tell each other. When you say the words, you are reminding your spouse, and reaffirming yourself of the love that you feel. Sometimes, when there's a bit of tension between both of you, a simple, ' I love you" will do the trick and douse the tension.

7. COMMUNICATE: Communicate to stay connected to your spouse. Communication is a secret to remain a happily married couples for decades. Couples who can talk to each other stay together forever. Good communication can make couples share the good things and discuss problems without getting angry. It also means that you probably talk to each other through out the day. Always make out time to talk during the day, even if its through a romantic line of sms. 

8. COMPROMISE: Sometimes, you will disagree and that's when compromise comes into play. If both spouses learn to succumb, agree to respect each other's opinions and ideologies, then both will surely be happy. When you agree to reach a compromise on some issue with your partner, it is not a sign of weakness, rather, it is a sign of maturity and affection for your spouse.

9. SHARE AFFECTION: This is very important. Giving and showing affection through hugs, kisses and touching are important. It creates a bond and keeps the romantic flame burning. Most couples tent to take this for granted, please don't, sometimes, they have more effect on the marriage than actual sex.

10. SHOW RESPECT: Each spouse needs to respect the other and their desires. Mutual respect means that consideration is given to the others feelings. When you show respect to each other, then those little quarrels will come few and far between.  

Written by my colleague Wale Lawal 

IS IT RIGHT FOR A WOMAN TO MARRY A YOUNG MAN?

Interesting topic. This is one subject that has always generated unending enthusiasm and sometimes intense reaction from most men and women. It is understandable. In this part of the world, marriage is always regarded as a sacred institution, one that should be accorded a great deal of decency. But lets face it, in other climes, the above subject would've been considered insignificant. Many would barely give it a second look. Nearly every other day, you hear of older women dating and getting married to younger men in other parts of the world. But then, this is not 'other climes,' this is Nigeria, Africa. This is that part of the world where marriage is discussed tongue in cheek.

Let us begin this way. I know not too many would agree with me on this, but hey, it's my opinion, and I've just taken full advantage of this platform to express it. Pick up your device and punch in a few lines and send to us if you share a different opinion. Back to the matter, first, I'd like to ask, does love require a certain age combination for it to happen? Last time I checked, the answer was 'no'. Personally, my take on this is simple, so long as both parties mutually consent to it, then let the tango begin! Times are changing. Gone are the days when women shy away from getting emotionally involved with younger men whom they may have come to greatly adore. And in some cases, the younger men adored them in return. But the very thought of 'what people will say' has held many of them back from following their heart and finding their true joy. A lot of women though have since learnt to follow their hearts and hold on to the love of their lives. Peter Okoye of Psquare and Darey Art Alade are both married happily to older women. Actress Ann Njemanze is married to a younger man, and even former Ekiti state governor, Kayode Fayemi, is married to a woman who's a couple of years older than him. The list is endless. 


An older woman can choose to tie it up with a younger man if both of them are happy together and find fulfillment in each other's arms. If a woman desires to have a younger, stronger, virile man in her arms, and takes her time to find a guy who finds her attractive enough to set the fireworks off for her, then it's all good. What I will not subscribe to, however, is a situation where a young man chooses to become an older woman's sex apparatus just so that he can get financially rewarded for his 'services.' This is a shame and I dare say that no man involved in this sick business can raise his head up high in the communiity of real men with decency who work their butts off to earn everything they've accomplished in life. We have a lot of them out there, shameless, lazy gigolos who lurk around around old rich men, waiting to pounce on them and their money at the slightest opportunity. I will not also applaud a situation where an older woman lures and entices an unsuspecting young man into sexual relationship, dangling heavy carrots and promising to change his situation for good, only if he's willing to play ball. But where the two genuinely care about each other, find true happiness in each other, I will gladly offer them my support. My submission? Let the older woman find happiness with her younger lover, so long as they're both sincere with themselves and are not in any way hurting the next person.
Contributed by my coleague, Wale Lawal

SEVEN THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO YOUR HUSBAND

One of the best parts about marriage is being so comfortable with your partner that you can say just about anything to him. But if you don't watch your mouth, sometimes the ugly truth comes out hurtful. Though you may have legitimate concerns or issues to bring up, but doing so in a harsh manner might just damage things. Here are seven things you must never say to your hubby even in the heat of anger. 

1. "You're just like your father" --This is just a no-no. Its nasty and its belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst trait of his family. If you're about to spout a criticism like this, stop and think what the consequences may be. No man will be happy to be reminded about, or be measured by his father's worst failing. 

2. When are you going to find a good job like your mates? -- This one is a no-go area! You don't demean his job or compare him and his job to his mates. First, do you want him to get a better job because it takes him away from home for too long, or because you want him to have more than enough to spend on you and the family? Whichever one it is, this is a sensitive subject, especially if you're asking him to leave a job he loves so much. Part of how a man evaluates himself is by how well he takes care of his family, so insulting him this way is a big blow and you may not like his reaction.

3. "My mother warned me you'd do this"-- Or, worse still, my mother warned me about you! Something may have seriously infuriated you to say this, but what you're doing is letting him know there are others in your camp. You're passing the impression that you and your family often discuss him behind his back, and apparently, your mum or some member of your family despises him. You should never let the opinion of others dictate your relationship. If your mother says, "he's stingy or he's cheap." say to him, "honey, why do you sometimes seem reluctant to spend money on things we need?"

4. Just leave it, I'll do it myself --This is by all means hurtful. First, it tells your husband that you consider him almost unreliable in handling some things around the house all by himself. Secondly, it's just plain demeaning for any adult to hear that his efforts are not appreciated. If there's something you think he's not handling right, there are sweeter ways to tell him so. 

5. You always disappoint --- Except if the man doesn't care about you, no man will be happy to hear this from his woman. If he has disappointed you a couple of times by not giving you some money he promised or not buying you something he assured you he would get you, for all you know, he might be feeling really bad about it, telling him with venom how disappointed you are might only make him feel even worse and he might just wait for the right time to fire back at you.  

6. Do you really think you look as good as you believe you look? --- This one smirks of envy. You probably know your hubby isn't a bad looking bloke, I mean, isn't that one of the reasons you fell for him in the first place? But you don't like the fact that he's still looking young despite the fact that both of you are advancing in age and he's still getting some attention from the opposite sex. If you go on trying to deflate his ego like this, and he suspects it's out of envy, he might begin to question your love for him and decrease his love for you. 

7. Ugh! We're hanging out with him/them again?---The moment you signed those dotted lines, you must be ready to  accommodate all of your husband's friends and family members. There might  be a few of them that are intolerable, but you must do everything to tolerate them. So, if your hubby says its time to go out with a friend you don't like, be careful how you express your disgust. One thing is for sure, he's not likely to kick his friend or a family member out of his life because of you.

Two Weeks to your wedding, you find your partner in bed with a lover. what will you do?

Please comment your oppinion

15 Big Early Warning Signs Of A Bad Boyfriend

When you first fell in love with your guy, you may have believed that he's the best boyfriend in the whole world. He woos you, awes you and impresses you. But as the days turn to months, something begins to change. He seems more distant, or worse, he doesn't have time for you anymore. If you've experienced this stage in the relationship, perhaps it's time for you to take a deeper look into your relationship.

And if you do find your boyfriend in the wrong here, communicate with him so he can realize what he's doing. After all, it's easy to take something important for granted. But if he still continues to hurt you through his behaviour, perhaps it's time to walk out for good. 

#1 He takes time. He often doesn't answer your calls immediately even if he isn't at work. And he always takes a lot of time to text you or call you back even when he's not busy.

#2 He takes you for granted. He takes you and your gestures for granted. He just expects you to be sweet and helpful all the time, and he never reciprocates anything you do.

#3 No time for you. He doesn't have time for you, but always has time for his friends and other activities. He's active on facebook playing silly games, but he doesn't have time to call you or meet you. He makes plans with you and cancels them often. And he always has a convincing excuse no matter what accusation you make.

#4 All he wants is sex. Every time both of you meet, all he wants to do is make out with you and climb in between your legs. He gets annoyed if you just want to talk or hang out doing something else. 

#5 He's emotionally closed off. An early sign of a bad boyfriend is his disinterest in talking about the future or his feelings. He says he likes living in the present, but still makes future plans about everything else but the relationship.

#6 He has a lot of secrets. And most of these secrets have names of different girls. He may be chatting with them on social networks or speaking with them over the phone now and then. And even if you ask him who these girls are or how he knows them, he just brushes the conversation off or avoids talking about them.

#7 He's controlling and manipulative. He's seems very concerned about you and always tries to advise you on how you should lead your life. And as helpful as he seems, somehow you feel very stifled and suffocated in the relationship. 

#8 He's in touch with his ex. Does your boyfriend stay actively in touch with his ex, even though there's no reason to? Both of them don't work together, nor do they meet as friends in a group, but yet, he insists they're good friends. And surprisingly, he doesn't seem enthusiastic about you joining them each time he meets his ex. They're just friends, right? 

#9 He's a smooth late night talker. He regularly talks to another girl almost every night, late into the night. This may be harmless to begin with, but late night conversations between attractive members of the opposite sex almost always have a way of going down the lane of flirty friends or emotional affairs. And it's best avoided. 

Tell him you're not comfortable with the idea of him talking regularly to another girl late at night. If he cares enough about you, he'd understand your fear.

#10 It's always about him. Your boyfriend's conversations always revolve around him and his problems. He's not bothered about your problems or your life, and always cuts the conversation or changes the subject when you talk about yourself.

#11 He blames you. He blames you for his mistakes, shortcomings and failures at every chance he gets. “If only I hadn't met you last night, I could have finished my work today!”

#12 It's his way or the highway. He tries to boss over you or control everything you do. He always chooses what both of you should do when you're with him. And if you choose to do something else, he gets angry or sulks the whole time.

#13 He's abusive. He may be a nice boyfriend most of the time, but his anger may bring out another side of his. Has he ever hit you or threatened you with dire consequences when he's angry about something? Walk out right now. 

#14 He can't get along with your friends or family. A guy who is serious about you would always want to impress your family and friends because he wants to make a good impression on them, so they can approve of your choice.

Conversely, your friends think he's not a good guy. When you're in love, it's easy to be clouded by emotions. But good friends can always see a break up months and years before it actually happens. So if the friends you trust have a point of view, listen to them. And even if they aren't saying it out loud that he's a bad boyfriend, watch out for hints in the conversation when you speak about your boyfriend with them. 

#15 He doesn't apologize. This is a bad boyfriend sign that can be noticed within a few weeks into the relationship. He has a big ego, and just doesn't apologize for anything, even if it's his own fault. He just mumbles something or blames something else for his mistake. Written by my colleague Wale Lawal 

NO MARRIAGE IS PERFRCT

No marriage is perfect. Every marriage has it's difficult moments. It's the energy and passion you put into making things right with your spouse and making your marriage work that actually help to keep you together. Nobody is perfect either, sometimes you do somethings and regret later or even hate yourself for it. If you can't trust yourself to always do the right thing then how do you expect that someone else will always do what you want? We all have our differences and if you choose to be with somebody then you have to understand that there will be times when they will do or say something you do not agree with. You will have to accept them for who they are and only try to work on living together and been in love while you tolerate the differences. Marriage is not easy, you have to know that before you get married. You have to know that you can't give up when things are no longer going the way you like or expected. There will be days that you or your partner will wake up and be in a terrible mood, snapping at everybody and over everything. There will be moment that you will feel like been alone or single again. There will be moments that you will not feel attracted or in love with your partner and they may say or do things that will make you hate them. There are times you will feel tempted to cheat. Those are all the different moments in marriages. Your ability and willingness to over come all those trying times and temptations is what will determine if your marriage will work or not. Do not ever go into marriage thinking it's easy and it's going to always be rosy and sweet and romantic, because it's not. You have to prepare for all the difficult moments and be prepared and strong enough not to jump ship when things get difficult. There's a stage in marriage that's referred to as the honey moon period. That's the first few years when things will be all sweet and easy. Then when the years go on, difficulties and temptations start to set in. Just like other marriages, my  marriage is not perfect but the reason we are still together and so in love is that we never give up on each other. We always have reasons why we should continue to put all our strength and time into making things work, some of the reasons are; our love for each other, and our drive for similar things, as friends. My husband is my best friend and am his best friend too. Communication is important to us. We tell each other everything.
My advice: Before you marry anybody, make sure they have more qualities you like in them than the ones you hate. That's, the good in them should over shadow the bad you see in them. So you can have more reasons to fight for them and stand by them and make things work when the honey moon period is over in your marriage. My aim is to encourage and assist couples to have successful marriages. With the help of God.
Share your thoughts with us.

8 MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE WITH MEN THAT PREVENT THEM FROM FINDING MR. RIGHT

1.  Pretending to be something for a man in the desire to please him:- Women are constantly doing that would help them to get a man’s attention, to get him to like them or to make him more attracted in love with them. It’s a horrible idea. Lots of women mistakenly think that doing unusual things to try and get a guy attention will make him magically see what a great catch they are and want to be with them. Wrong! You don’t have to act like an ‘easy’ woman for men to like you and you certainly don’t have to play like he’s some gift to the earth. If you think making him more attracted to you means ‘playing to the man’s fantasies’ from the start, think again. You will never succeed by looking for a man’s approval, finding your way into his heart through sex and not being yourself. Men you truly want are never attracted to the types of women who kiss up to them, make weak plays for affection etc.

2. Sharing Your Feelings:- Sharing how you ‘feel’ too early with him is another huge and unfortunate mistake that most women make with men. Listen…attractive, single, successful men are rare. They get a lot of attention from women. You know, when a woman says ‘I really like you ‘after one or two dates, this signals to the man that you’re just like one of those ‘clingy’ stereotyped women who want to rush into a relationship and can’t control yourself from wanting a man. Don’t do it. Lean back. Relax.

3. Misreading The Important ‘Signals’ That Men Send:- Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves. Most women don’t pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are. Men have 4 signals (1). Social: Where the man is at in his own life (2) Emotional: Whether or not he is emotionally available. (3). Physical: If he’s attracted to you and for what reasons. (4) Love State: If he’s open to building and growing a relationship in the future. Women need to lean to recognize these signals to get anywhere with a man.

4. Relying on your natural ability to judge a man’s character:- People aren’t easy to figure out, especially the opposite sex. Both men and women have their own secret way of saying things, but you can only see these secret communications if you know what to look for. Women communicate with body language, flirting etc when they are getting to know a man. They open up to men easily but men communicate with sarcasm, humour, cockiness and ‘indirect’ displays of status. Very rarely will a man be able to honestly communicate to a woman whether or not he’s ready or capable of developing meaningful relationship. Men send indirect signals to avoid pain learn to identify a good man from a bad one by your instincts and natural ability.  

5. Expecting a relationship to make you happy:- Lots of women think a guy will change her life and make her happy and fulfilled. And sure, there are situations and relationships where this happens, but those are the exceptions, not the rule. So let me be clear. I think it’s important that people help fulfil each other in their lives, whether it’s dating, a relationship, etc but if a woman expresses that she’s looking for a guy to take care of her, complete her, make her whole and all that kind of stuff, it will think of her. It doesn’t have to be spoken by the woman either. All you need to do is you can get the man interested and involved in your life in a more ‘natural’ way, where he’ll be motivated to make you care about your happiness and fulfilment on his own. This is the only way it can work for you.

6. Trying to ‘convince him to like you or love you:- You will never change how a man ‘feels’ when it comes to attraction! Never, ever! You cannot convince a man to feel differently about you with ‘logic’ and reasoning.’ Think about it, if a man doesn’t ‘feel it’ for you, how in the world do you expect to change that by being ‘reasonable’ with him? When a man just isn’t interested, women will try and case compliments, convince and do their best to change his mind with logical and rational approaches. This is a very bad idea, just allow him be.

7. Not knowing what to do in each type of situation:- A man has a clear idea of what he wants from a woman and don’t mean just sex. I know this might be heard to believe but if you are on a date with a man, he already has an idea of what he wants from you, and if you don’t know how to find this out, and you just sit there looking at him and flirting, or trying things you think will make him want you, he won’t help. You’ll probably screw it up and lose everything.

8. Not Getting Help:-This is the biggest mistake of all. The mistake keeps women from ever having the kind of success and finding the kind of man and relationship that they truly want.

Men are different from women, you need to accept this fact, and deal with it. When a woman sees a man, she can very quickly pick apart certain things about his style, body language, status and character that will tell her all kinds of things about him. Some women do it without knowing, but does the same apply to men? Men often lack what women have in emotional awareness and ‘intuition’, so you have got to be very careful and tread consciously. 

Huge Mistakes Women Always Make In Relationships

The problem with women is that they want bad boys; but they expect these bad boys to be good men to them. They assume that they will be the woman to change the guy from been a bad boy to becoming a good man. You can't choose to marry or date a cheat, a player, a woman beater and expect him not to do all those things to you. You can't sleep with your friend's boyfriend and eventually snatch him from her and expect him to be faithful to you, he will cheat on you the same way he cheated on her. Girls often choose bad boys or players over good men, because they see the good men as boring. Well, don't complain when your fun boyfriend starts to treat you like trash and cheats on you with everything in skirt. I've seen girls turn down good men that love and worship them for players. And funny enough, they expect to have a wonderful, sweet and ever lasting relationship with these players. You have a choice to either choose a man that values you and be treated like a queen for the rest of your life. Or choose a man that is a player and get played and heart broken for the rest of your life. Don't ever think you have the power to change a man.

You see a man playing women around and you get turned on by that, you want to be with him because you think he's hot for women to be all over him. Well, it won't be fun any more when he eventually breaks your heart and mistreat you till you lose confidence in yourself. A man that is meant for you and truly values you will change willingly the moment he chooses to be with you, because he loves you genuinely and doesn't want to lose you. My advice to women: marry a man that loves you more than you love him. That man will never fall out of love with you or do anything to lose you. He will always do things to please and keep you. You are beautiful in your own unique way, and you deserve a man that will adore you, love you and treat you like you are the only woman in the world. Don't settle for anything less than that, men hardly grow in love, instead they get bored and want a change of woman, if he doesn't love you enough now, he won't love you more later.

Be patient, don't be desperate, your own man will come. The one that will love you and everything about you. And when you meet him, don't push him away because he doesn't have a few other qualities you want in a man. What matters the most is, he should love you to a fault, he should have a job or business. Don't ever over look serious flaws you see in a man and go ahead to settle with him. If you notice that he is a player, or a violent man, or a cheat then don't be blinded by love. No matter how he pretends, you will notice those bad sides if you are not too blinded by love. When you notice all those things, run, don't over look them and go ahead to marry him. Don't be deceived by his pretence and smooth talk. Don't be pushed by family or friends either. You are the one getting married to him not them. They say "he who wears the shoe, knows where it pinches the most". Dont be fooled. Be the police of your heart and life and stay clear of such men.

posted from Bloggeroid

Mr Don Igwegbu CEng Send his well-wishes to The President of Nigeria

Let me join Nigerians and friends of Nigeria at home and in diaspora in welcoming President Muhammadu Buhari GCFR back to Nigeria after a prolonged medical leave in the UK.

Health they say is wealth. Therefore President Buhari should take the back seat and allow Vice President Yemi Osinbajo GCON to continue to function as the Acting President pending when he (Buhari) fully recuperates.

PMB must resist the temptation from those sycophants and presidential hawks who would rather drag him immediately to the myriads of national issues than allow him have the rest he sincerely deserves at present.

Nigerians would not want to see a repeat of what transpired during late President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua's tenure. "Where are all those cabals that selfishly held him hostage at the time he should have bowed out from active service and attend to his health?".

Nigeria as it stands today needs an intelligent, young, dynamic and energetic leader who would commit to promoting transparency, accountability, equitable growth, inclusive dialogue and sustainable development.

Patriotism and the right to citizenship does not end at elections but the ability to speak out and add your voice when it matters most. It was Albert Einstein who submitted that "The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything". Once beaten they say twice shy.

Long live the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Don Igwegbu CEng., CMarEng., FIMarEST.

posted from Bloggeroid

SOME OF THE CONSEQUENCES THAT COMES WITH INFIDELITY

Today, i woke up with a strong urge to write about infidelity and the consequences that comes with it.
Cheating on your partner is fun sometimes, it satisfies your sexual urge and gives you pleasure at the moment. But there are consequences for it. I will mention just a few of them.
1)Your relationship with God: Fornication and Adultery are terrible sins that can push away the spirit of God. That is why, when you are fasting or praying for something from God and you choose to abstain from sex, your prayers get answered fast. Sex keeps us away from gaining many favours from God, especially sex with someone you are not married to.
2)The effect on your spouse: When you cheat on your partner and they get to know, it destroys them emotional, mentally and physically. Cheating is the worse thing you can do to someone you claim to love. When you cheat on your partner, you degrade them before their friends and family that gets to know about it. It also degrades them before the person you are cheating with. Cheating can lead to break up or divorce or a troubled marriage. When you cheat on your partner and they notice or get to know, they never trust you again. And how will a relationship stand without trust? I once heard a man who is a habitual cheat complaining about how his wife nags too much and makes his life a living hell, and he doesn't know how else to please her because he has done everything. I said to myself that how can you wonder why your wife acts the way she does? And how can you say you have done everything when you have actually tried to do everything except what is really important. You cheat on her with everything in skirt and you expect her to be a good wife to you? All women wants to be loved right and not cheated on. She wants you to have eyes for her alone. Men on the other hand want to be respected, supported, loved and not cheated on either.
3) Lack of concentration: Cheating makes you lose concentration in your marriage, job, kids and business. Especially the serial cheats with numerous partners. You find yourself always trying to plan your love life in a way that you won't get caught. Always working on lies to tell to cover up your tracks. And then the hell you receive from your partner when they find out that you are cheating. How can you concentrate on anything if your partner is pissed with you, giving you hell, not been supportive and may be thinking of leaving you because you cheated.
4)The financial effect : This applies more to the men. Have you realized that the money you spend on your numerous girlfriends can be used to do something beneficial for your family? Sit down one day and try calculating how much you have spent on entertaining and buying gifts for your numerous girlfriends, taking care of their daily needs. Now, do you know that you can put that money into the future of your kids, or into a business. You save more or get richer when you are faithful in your marriage or relationship.
5) STD. This is one of the worst effect of infidelity. When you cheat on your spouse and end up infecting them with these viruses you contracted outside. How Would you feel knowing this is your hand work? You risk the lives of spouse and children because of a moment's pleasure. These are just a few consequences of cheating. There are many more. So will you rather cheat to satisfy your sexual urge for that moment and risk losing your partner, or degrade and insult your partner because of your actions, or lose your dignity and self respect and cause God to frown on you?
Advice: Choose your partner wisely, choose someone that you don't see yourself falling out of love with easily. Choose your speck, don't marry a man or a woman that is not your speck and then find yourself cheating on them with your speck. Learn to control your sexual urge, it's difficult but it can be done. You can work on yourself and train yourself to have self control and give your body only to your partner. Don't say there's nothing there, my partner won't know, let me just quickly have sex this once and go back to my love. Once you do it, you can't help yourself again and you continue on the path of cheating. Cheating destroys alot of beautiful things. Be the type of man you want your daughter to end up with, don't treat women bad and expect that your daughter will be treated differently. Be the type of woman you wish your son will one day end up with. Dont treat your husband terribly and expect that women will treat your son nicely.

posted from Bloggeroid

Don’t beg for love from those who have no time for you, from someone who thinks only of him or herself. Don’t ever do it. The person who makes you feel invisible and insignificant with indifference does not deserve you. You deserve someone who, with their attention, makes you feel important and present.
According Christina Wellington and I share same ideology with her.

Someone might be looking for a reason to leave or disconnect from you but wouldn't want to be the one to say it’s over! and so they come up with strong allegations or terrible reasons to leave. Or they mistreat you and break your heart over and over again, in an attempt to push you away. Don't cry for such a person or try to beg because they are not meant for you. And begging someone to love or stay with you only makes them look at you as a pathetic and vulnerable person that can't live without them, and hence, cause them to lose more interest in you. Sometimes, you need to let someone go for them to miss and appreciate you again. By the way, someone who betrays, use and dumps you over and over is heartless, so why do you think you can make a heartless person love you? Here is my advice if you find yourself in such situations let such a person go, don't let the fear of been alone make you settle for just anything or anyone. Go to God, pray on the Lords' holy alter and seek Him in sincerity, with clean and pure heart and the Lord will bless you with a divine partner.

posted from Bloggeroid

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO TO YOUR HUSBAND

Using sarcastic and critical statements, gestures, and facial expressions

This is a quick and easy way to show your husband that you don't respect him or his opinion. Men can become overwhelmed by the barrage of criticism coming at them. The result is they shut down, withdraw, and seek kindness and approval elsewhere.

Have you ever experienced someone discounting what you have to say, without actually listening to you? When you are critical or sarcastic with your husband, he feels attacked and unvalued. Listen to him, without adding your two cents worth. If you'd like to ask questions, wait until he stops talking. Don't interrupt with a story about how the dog threw-up on the carpet. Let him have a few minutes to be the center of your attention. And if you absolutely must get dinner made, invite him to join you in the kitchen. Tell him that you would like to hear about the rest of his day, and mean it.

Another way to show disrespect is to roll your eyes or make sarcastic facial expressions. These are just as irritating for your husband, as they are for you when your teen-aged daughter does it. There is no need to be rude, even if you've been married forever. It is more important to give him your attention, to look at him and to listen, than it is to roll your eyes or shake your head in exasperation. You are trying to build a bond, not destroy the man you love.
By Deborah Demander

posted from Bloggeroid

8 SIGNS THAT SUGGEST YOUR WIFE MIGHT BE CHEATING ON YOU

It has always been an age long argument, between men and women, who cheats on the other more? In other words, who's the bigger cheat, man or woman? Lets face it, statistics have long proven that men cheat on their spouses much more than women. Its even more obvious within the married circles, married men are often more vulnerable to temptation and far more open to cheating than married women. Okay, so we agree. But yet, women, whether married or not, still cheat on their husbands or boyfriends, even if is not as alarming as that of men. They still climb in between the sheets with another man and run back home into the arms of their spouse and snuggle on his chest as though nothing happened. Yes, women are pretty smart. It is said that when a man is in love and his wife is cheating on him, everybody else in the neighbourhood may already know about her underground runs, but hubby will be the last to know because, like they say, loving eyes can never see. This may be true, but still, if you shine your eyes well, you will see the handwriting on the wall very clearly. Here are some of the signs that could give your wife away if she's indeed cheating on you.

1. YOU START SEEING UNUSUAL EXPENSIVE GIFTS: As a man, you should begin to ask questions once you notice that your wife who rarely spends her money buying expensive stuffs like wristwatches, jewellery, shoes, for herself because she would insist you give her the money to buy them, suddenly starts coming home with these stuffs. And strangely, she tells you she bought them herself, not once, not twice, not thrice, not...Hmmm, open your eyes and ask questions, somebody may be picking up the bills outside.
2. SUDDEN FREQUENT VISITS: Before now, your wife prefers staying home with you and the kids, watching teevee and spending quality time with family. Then, suddenly, she starts going out almost on a regular basis to visit 'old friends' that you have never met or seen with her. And each time she's going out to visit these 'old friends', she's always excited and eager to leave the house. Most noticeably, she always takes her time to look extra beautiful before stepping out of the house. Don't be fooled, your wife might be on her way to frollick with her lover.
3. HER PHONE BECOMES VERY PRIVATE: Usually, women are the most careless with phones. It is a known fact that men carry their phones about more than women, with the exception of the younger generation of ladies of course who are forever chatting, messaging, taking selfies, etc, with their phones. But for older women, the phone can be a burden sometimes and whenever they can dump it somewhere when they don't have a need it for it, they don't hesitate to do so. Now, if your wife belongs to this category, then suddenly you find she's always carrying her phone about the house, scared to leave it lying down around you, or its on permanent vibrate, and when a call comes in she stylishly steps out to pick it or she's not picking at all cos you're there, my brother, no dull yourself o, there's something fishy going on.
4. NEW FOUND DESIRE TO LOOK GOOD ALWAYS: This one is an easy give away. Women are always happy and excited when they are in love or just excited they're seeing somebody they seem to like or connect with. Next thing is she begins to pay more attention to her looks more than ever before. She visits the salon a little more frequently and appears to be picking up a few new outfits she wears out on her solo trips to visit 'friends', or she's suddenly bringing back to life some of her clingy, sexy dresses that she hadn't worn in a while. Do not dismiss this signal, there could just be fire on the mountain!
5. SHE STARTS NAGGING A LOT MORE: This is another sign to watch out for. If your woman, who had always been supportive and understanding of your tight financial state, suddenly begins to nag about your inability to adequately provide for her and meet her taste, complains you hardly give her enough upkeep money for herself and the kids and slams it in your face that there thousands of men out there who are doing a lot more for their wives than you have ever done for her, then watch out. Be vigilant. Some guy may just have been impressing your wife with some clean looking, sweet smelling crisps of Naira notes just to get in between her legs!
6. EMOTIONAL DISTANCE: This happens when the guy outside begins to get seriously into your wife's head, so much so that she thinks of him all the time and at any slight moment she has to herself, she quickly goes on fantasy trips, imagining herself in the arms of her new Romeo. Sometimes, she's with you in the living room, you're talking to her and she's nodding absent mindedly to all you're saying, but her mind is so very far away. She can't hear you, she possibly can't even see you, the only image before her is that of her exciting new lover...
7. LOSS OF SEXUAL APPETITE: Often times, a woman who's enjoying a steamy affair outside her matrimonial home is most likely to suddenly lose the appetite for sex with her husband, it gets even worse if Mr. Lover man is giving her great sex outside. When you touch her in bed, chances are that she will become quickly irritated by your touch...the same touch that once evoked a cacophony of emotions inside her body the moment your hands made contact with her flesh just a few years ago.

8. STARTS WORKING LATE IN THE OFFICE: As a matter of fact, this is one the early signals. Your wife before now was always complaining about how stressful and financially unrewarding her job is and would always get home less than an hour after her official closing hours. But suddenly, she begins to work late, coming home at least two hours after her closing time almost on a regular basis, saying she's been saddled with more workload, then you must start keeping your ears to the ground. There could be a lot more to that work load than she's telling you.
Written by my colleague Wale Lawal.

Please share your thoughts and experience with us

May the joy of the Lord be with us.

posted from Bloggeroid

Part 2: 16 SIGNS IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON AND END THE RELATIONSHIP

6. Sexual intimacy. You can't remember the last time both of you made love. You've tried your best to bring the sizzle back into the bedroom, but your partner prefers to turn the other way and feign sleep. And it feels worse when you catch your partner admiring others when both of you are walking down a street.
7 What holds both of you together? Are you in the relationship or marriage only because of the baggage that holds the both of you together? If the reason for the existence of the romantic relationship isn't love, then you're only fooling yourself if you believe it'll ever bring you any happiness.
8 Deep trust issues. You don't trust your partner anymore. There may be a genuine reason for the lack of trust, or perhaps, both of you just have different expectations from each other when it comes to trust and believing in each other. But unless both of you even the creases on the issue of trust, the love will only fade, and never grow.
9 Different lives. There are no meaningful conversations between the two of you. You have nothing to talk about beyond small talk because your values, vision, and expectations from life are completely different from your partner's views and both of you haven't taken the initiative to find common grounds.
10 Back to square one. It happens all the time. There's a lot of love. And then comes a big fight. And then both of you communicate with each other and end the argument with a lot of love and affection.
And in no time, the same issues crop up all over again, and the same cycle starts all over again. Can both of you ever evolve as a couple if the same issues stagnate your lives and stops both of you from bonding together as a couple?
11 Controlling behavior. People with insecure personalities don't always confront their partner. Instead, they use manipulation, aggression and subtle controlling behavior to manipulate you into believing they're right and you're wrong. And before you know it, you'd feel lost and all alone because you would lose all your friends and turn into your partner's slave.
12 Individual lives. You think you love your partner, and you think you're happy in your relationship. But yet, both of you just live together and have nothing in common, and lead individual lives.
13 People pleasers. Your partner constantly goes overboard to please another person just to impress them and win their fancy. But they'd never ever do anything like that for you.
14 Fault finding. Your partner makes you feel inadequate in the relationship all the time. They treat you like you're not good enough, and always find faults with everything you do. They break you emotionally, and constantly expect you to change for them because you're not good enough!
15 You don't enjoy their company. You dread spending time together with your partner. You feel comfortable hanging out with your lover as long as it's with a group of friends. But every time you have to spend some quality time together, it makes you feel uncomfortable.
16 Respect. Do you respect your partner as an individual? Does your partner respect you? For a relationship to be successful, respect for one another plays a very big part. If there's no respect for each other, then there's surely no hope for the future.
Lets hear you thought on this.
Rubbingminds .

posted from Bloggeroid

16 SIGNS IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON AND END THE RELATIONSHIP

So are you happy or unhappy in love? Here are 16 clear signs that can help you understand if you're in a relationship that isn't worth holding on to. Can you relate to at least a few of these signs in your own relationship?
All of us have our own thresholds when it comes to sacrifices and enduring pain in the hope of a better relationship. But if you feel like you're fighting a losing battle while trying to bring happiness into your romance, ask yourself if you see these signs in your own love life.
1 The spark is missing. You don't know why you're in the relationship anymore. The romance is missing, there's no chemistry or companionship, and both of you just exist in each other's lives without any special reason. Sometimes, you secretly wonder why both of you are even together in the first place?
2 You're hurting. You're misunderstood, hurt or angry all the time. Sometimes, you don't even know why, but just thinking of your partner hurts you or annoys you. And sadly, even if you haven't given this a thought, you haven't been happy for a very long time.
3 You're being taken for granted. Your partner uses you, manipulates your understanding nature and takes you for granted, no matter how nice you are to them. You've been doing all the giving, in the hope that your partner will see how selfless and loving you are, and change for the better some day.
4 You don't see a future. You're satisfied with your relationship, and you're happy-ish. But every time you're alone or try to see where your relationship is going, your mind tells you that your relationship has no future. And as hard as you try to visualize a perfect tomorrow, you can't see your partner as a long-term lover.
5 Uninvolved. Your partner doesn't care enough to play an active part in your life, nor do they even try to understand your life. They're emotionally uninvolved and unavailable, even when you try to make them feel involved.
to be continued tomorrow

posted from Bloggeroid

THE EFFECT TROUBLED MARRIAGES HAVE ON THE KIDS.

Today I want to write about something totally different again from what I have always written about but still on marriages and how to have a better home with your spouse.
I want to advice couples to please restrain from tackling their problems or differences through quarrels and fights. Apart from the tremendous negative effect these acts have on your relationship, it also affects your kids greatly. It has permanent effect on the kids, socially, emotionally and psychologically. Some of the effects are as listed below;
1) The first and most common effect troubled marriages have on kids is poor grades in school. Kids need to be happy, to be loved, they need the attention of their parents(both parents) to do well. How can they get that attention when the parents are bitter or angry or spend all their time fighting each other? These kids may be doing averagely in their studies and you think that's the best they could do. You have no idea that they can do better, they can be the best in their class. Most kids can't concentrate well when their parents keep fighting and they have to witness such.
2) Another effect troubled marriages have on kids is they grow up without been well disciplined. Mostly because the parents are never in good terms and can not agree on a particular or the best way to bring the kids up. For example, a bitter wife that is pissed at the husband can permit her kid to do something her husband asked the kid not to do, just because she's pissed and wants to get back at her husband. There are many other instances where couples use their kids against each other. Such kids grow up been wayward, stubborn, arrogant and manner less.
3)These days you see some youths growing up with the lack of interest in marriage or serious relationships. Or lack of interest in having kids. Just because they do not believe that marriages work or it's good or they did not grow up seeing marriage as a romantic and loving bond between two people in love. How will they see marriage that way when the first marriage they witness was a disaster? Their parents were cat and dog. Fighting over every little thing. Raining insults on each other. Mind you, kids are smarter than you think. They know when you fight or when you are not in good terms. This is one of the reasons why we have lots of young people out there refusing to get committed or refusing to take marriage seriously. Some of the Kids from troubled marriages who eventually get married are scared of having kids or have kids but do not know how to bring up the Kids in the best way because they never experienced good parenting.
4)Another effect is that, these kids grow up emulating their parents. The boys will grow up with the mentality that a man does not have to respect or treat a woman nice. They beat up women easily, abuse them and they do not believe in been faithful to women because they copied that from their father, they were taught by their hero that they can treat a woman the way they want and get away it with. They heard their mum nagging their father all the time about cheating and so they grew up thinking that all men should cheat. Some fathers even take it to the next level of talking to their girlfriends in the presence of their sons. Men think there is nothing wrong with womanizing and they do not mind their sons growing up to be womanizers, but there are alot of things wrong with womanizing, i would mention a few disadvantages of womanizing but that will be a topic for another time. And for the girls, they grow up emulating their mothers as well. They do not have any respect for men. They assume all men are cheats and so they never expect anything good from a man. The worse one is, they do not expect a man to respect or treat them nice because they grew up seeing their father treat their mother with no respect and she took it and only nagged back. So these little girls grow up taking any bullshit from a man. They do not think it's wrong for a man to insult them, beat them or cheat on them.
5)Low self esteem is another effect on kids in troubled marriages. These kids were not loved properly so they grew up not even loving themselves. Sometimes their parents who quarreled over every little thing even quarreled over them. For example, the parents who are already bitter at each other or fight over everything fought over the the fact that the man or the woman scolded one of the kids for something bad they did, and instead of this couple to talk about this in a matured or peaceful way during bed time, they decided to fight and raise their voice in the presence of the kids. These kids will grow up hating themselves, seeing themselves as one of the reasons why their parents always fight.
These are some of the tremendous effect troubled marriages have on kids. So, do you hate your kids so much that you would rather ruin their lives or be bad parents to them or let them copy your bad habit of fighting all the time, rather than settling issues in a matured and less violent or bitter way? Try all your best to portray a good marriage or a good image for your kids to copy. You are their first role model.

posted from Bloggeroid

DON'T ALLOW INTRUDERS IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Marriage is to be between the husband, the wife, and God. It is not to be between the husband, the wife, and a mother, a father, or relatives, or anyone else. Woe to that person that interferes in the marriage ordained of God. It is written, WHAT THEREFORE GOD HATH JOINED TOGETHER, LET NOT MAN PUT ASUNDER-Mt 19:6; ref Mk 10:9

posted from Bloggeroid

Rebuild your marriage by following the tips

I always write about women looking good or taking care of their body to remain beautiful so they can keep their partners. But to be sincere, it is not always.about the looks. We will all agree that sometimes our men can leave us at home looking all beautiful, naturally endowed and be out cheating with a less attractive girl. That shows clearly that it is not always about looks, looks help but it is not a 100 percent solution. Change in character or can also push your partner away. If you have become a nagging, controlling, insatiable and sad woman then you are at a risk of losing your partner to a girl that is calm, peaceful, understanding and tolerating. A girl that calls him sweet names, makes him feel peaceful when around her, does not nag him. Some women become nagging mothers to their huabands after a few years in the marriage. He starts to dread going back home from work. The home is no longer peaceful because the woman is always nagging everybody and she's quick to anger. She is no longer the sweet, tender and understanding girl he married. Even the kids are always looking for a place to escape to, a peaceful place. So, my fellow women, as you try to look good, beautiful and clean for your husband, also try not to become his mother instead of his partner. Be understanding. Do not always resolve to calling him names, comparing him to his friends that you feel are better off than him, degrading him and been generally abusive to pass across your point or to get him to do what you want. I know it's hard for men to be faithful to one woman for ever but I want you all to know that it's not impossible. There are faithful men out there, loving and caring men. My intention is to help women in relationship, to always give them tips on how to keep their men attractive and in love with them. Nothing is impossible, do not say all men are the same and so you should just give up and let him cheat. You can work on yourself and be the best you can be in looks and character. May God bless our marriages.
By the way, about 60 percent of men or even more do not marry a woman for just her looks. It is mostly her character. That is why looks should not be the only focus to keep your man glued to you. Maybe he married you because you are hard-working, ambitious and always gave him good advices. But now you have become lazy, none ambitious and you never talk to him or advice him about what he should do to progress or grow. So what is left for him to love in you?
Lets rub minds by sharing our thoughts on this topic.

posted from Bloggeroid

Is there a perfect guy or lady?

This has being a hot and controversial topic for a while now.
I believe there's no perfect man or perfect woman. We strive to be perfect so as to compliment each other and we can have a better relationship that might or will lead to a blissful union. We should be ready and willing to compromise with each other because often times, when we are too rigid, not flexible, we tend to lose the grip on someone who would have been the ideal match. We should be open minded, willing and ready to learn, no man is an island of knowledge; we learn everyday.
No one is created perfect, we all have strengths and weaknesses and when you are in a relationship, your strength should be able to compliment your partner's weakness. Trust is a determining factor in every relationship. Someone said this and I quote " To be trusted is a greater accomplishment than being loved. If I love you? We might make it. But if I TRUST you? The sky is the limit". (I Don't know how true this is; what do you think?). We all should learn to accept him/her for who they are, the things they can't change, and help accomplish those they can change. Life is like a two way traffic with portholes, to maneuver successfully, you need patience.
So my friends no one is perfect EXCEPT our Creator. We can ONLY but strive to be perfect.
If you disagree, please share your thoughts with us.
Lets rub minds and learn from each other.

posted from Bloggeroid