Today I want to write about something totally different again from what I have always written about but still on marriages and how to have a better home with your spouse.
I want to advice couples to please restrain from tackling their problems or differences through quarrels and fights. Apart from the tremendous negative effect these acts have on your relationship, it also affects your kids greatly. It has permanent effect on the kids, socially, emotionally and psychologically. Some of the effects are as listed below;
1) The first and most common effect troubled marriages have on kids is poor grades in school. Kids need to be happy, to be loved, they need the attention of their parents(both parents) to do well. How can they get that attention when the parents are bitter or angry or spend all their time fighting each other? These kids may be doing averagely in their studies and you think that's the best they could do. You have no idea that they can do better, they can be the best in their class. Most kids can't concentrate well when their parents keep fighting and they have to witness such.
2) Another effect troubled marriages have on kids is they grow up without been well disciplined. Mostly because the parents are never in good terms and can not agree on a particular or the best way to bring the kids up. For example, a bitter wife that is pissed at the husband can permit her kid to do something her husband asked the kid not to do, just because she's pissed and wants to get back at her husband. There are many other instances where couples use their kids against each other. Such kids grow up been wayward, stubborn, arrogant and manner less.
3)These days you see some youths growing up with the lack of interest in marriage or serious relationships. Or lack of interest in having kids. Just because they do not believe that marriages work or it's good or they did not grow up seeing marriage as a romantic and loving bond between two people in love. How will they see marriage that way when the first marriage they witness was a disaster? Their parents were cat and dog. Fighting over every little thing. Raining insults on each other. Mind you, kids are smarter than you think. They know when you fight or when you are not in good terms. This is one of the reasons why we have lots of young people out there refusing to get committed or refusing to take marriage seriously. Some of the Kids from troubled marriages who eventually get married are scared of having kids or have kids but do not know how to bring up the Kids in the best way because they never experienced good parenting.
4)Another effect is that, these kids grow up emulating their parents. The boys will grow up with the mentality that a man does not have to respect or treat a woman nice. They beat up women easily, abuse them and they do not believe in been faithful to women because they copied that from their father, they were taught by their hero that they can treat a woman the way they want and get away it with. They heard their mum nagging their father all the time about cheating and so they grew up thinking that all men should cheat. Some fathers even take it to the next level of talking to their girlfriends in the presence of their sons. Men think there is nothing wrong with womanizing and they do not mind their sons growing up to be womanizers, but there are alot of things wrong with womanizing, i would mention a few disadvantages of womanizing but that will be a topic for another time. And for the girls, they grow up emulating their mothers as well. They do not have any respect for men. They assume all men are cheats and so they never expect anything good from a man. The worse one is, they do not expect a man to respect or treat them nice because they grew up seeing their father treat their mother with no respect and she took it and only nagged back. So these little girls grow up taking any bullshit from a man. They do not think it's wrong for a man to insult them, beat them or cheat on them.
5)Low self esteem is another effect on kids in troubled marriages. These kids were not loved properly so they grew up not even loving themselves. Sometimes their parents who quarreled over every little thing even quarreled over them. For example, the parents who are already bitter at each other or fight over everything fought over the the fact that the man or the woman scolded one of the kids for something bad they did, and instead of this couple to talk about this in a matured or peaceful way during bed time, they decided to fight and raise their voice in the presence of the kids. These kids will grow up hating themselves, seeing themselves as one of the reasons why their parents always fight.
These are some of the tremendous effect troubled marriages have on kids. So, do you hate your kids so much that you would rather ruin their lives or be bad parents to them or let them copy your bad habit of fighting all the time, rather than settling issues in a matured and less violent or bitter way? Try all your best to portray a good marriage or a good image for your kids to copy. You are their first role model.
I want to advice couples to please restrain from tackling their problems or differences through quarrels and fights. Apart from the tremendous negative effect these acts have on your relationship, it also affects your kids greatly. It has permanent effect on the kids, socially, emotionally and psychologically. Some of the effects are as listed below;
1) The first and most common effect troubled marriages have on kids is poor grades in school. Kids need to be happy, to be loved, they need the attention of their parents(both parents) to do well. How can they get that attention when the parents are bitter or angry or spend all their time fighting each other? These kids may be doing averagely in their studies and you think that's the best they could do. You have no idea that they can do better, they can be the best in their class. Most kids can't concentrate well when their parents keep fighting and they have to witness such.
2) Another effect troubled marriages have on kids is they grow up without been well disciplined. Mostly because the parents are never in good terms and can not agree on a particular or the best way to bring the kids up. For example, a bitter wife that is pissed at the husband can permit her kid to do something her husband asked the kid not to do, just because she's pissed and wants to get back at her husband. There are many other instances where couples use their kids against each other. Such kids grow up been wayward, stubborn, arrogant and manner less.
3)These days you see some youths growing up with the lack of interest in marriage or serious relationships. Or lack of interest in having kids. Just because they do not believe that marriages work or it's good or they did not grow up seeing marriage as a romantic and loving bond between two people in love. How will they see marriage that way when the first marriage they witness was a disaster? Their parents were cat and dog. Fighting over every little thing. Raining insults on each other. Mind you, kids are smarter than you think. They know when you fight or when you are not in good terms. This is one of the reasons why we have lots of young people out there refusing to get committed or refusing to take marriage seriously. Some of the Kids from troubled marriages who eventually get married are scared of having kids or have kids but do not know how to bring up the Kids in the best way because they never experienced good parenting.
4)Another effect is that, these kids grow up emulating their parents. The boys will grow up with the mentality that a man does not have to respect or treat a woman nice. They beat up women easily, abuse them and they do not believe in been faithful to women because they copied that from their father, they were taught by their hero that they can treat a woman the way they want and get away it with. They heard their mum nagging their father all the time about cheating and so they grew up thinking that all men should cheat. Some fathers even take it to the next level of talking to their girlfriends in the presence of their sons. Men think there is nothing wrong with womanizing and they do not mind their sons growing up to be womanizers, but there are alot of things wrong with womanizing, i would mention a few disadvantages of womanizing but that will be a topic for another time. And for the girls, they grow up emulating their mothers as well. They do not have any respect for men. They assume all men are cheats and so they never expect anything good from a man. The worse one is, they do not expect a man to respect or treat them nice because they grew up seeing their father treat their mother with no respect and she took it and only nagged back. So these little girls grow up taking any bullshit from a man. They do not think it's wrong for a man to insult them, beat them or cheat on them.
5)Low self esteem is another effect on kids in troubled marriages. These kids were not loved properly so they grew up not even loving themselves. Sometimes their parents who quarreled over every little thing even quarreled over them. For example, the parents who are already bitter at each other or fight over everything fought over the the fact that the man or the woman scolded one of the kids for something bad they did, and instead of this couple to talk about this in a matured or peaceful way during bed time, they decided to fight and raise their voice in the presence of the kids. These kids will grow up hating themselves, seeing themselves as one of the reasons why their parents always fight.
These are some of the tremendous effect troubled marriages have on kids. So, do you hate your kids so much that you would rather ruin their lives or be bad parents to them or let them copy your bad habit of fighting all the time, rather than settling issues in a matured and less violent or bitter way? Try all your best to portray a good marriage or a good image for your kids to copy. You are their first role model.
posted from Bloggeroid
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