One of the best parts about marriage is being so comfortable with
your partner that you can say just about anything to him. But if you don't
watch your mouth, sometimes the ugly truth comes out hurtful. Though you may
have legitimate concerns or issues to bring up, but doing so in a harsh manner
might just damage things. Here are seven things you must never say to your
hubby even in the heat of anger.
1. "You're just like your father" --This is just a no-no. Its nasty and its belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst trait of his family. If you're about to spout a criticism like this, stop and think what the consequences may be. No man will be happy to be reminded about, or be measured by his father's worst failing.
2. When are you going to find a good job like your mates? -- This
one is a no-go area! You don't demean his job or compare him and his job to his
mates. First, do you want him to get a better job because it takes him away
from home for too long, or because you want him to have more than enough to
spend on you and the family? Whichever one it is, this is a sensitive subject,
especially if you're asking him to leave a job he loves so much. Part of how a
man evaluates himself is by how well he takes care of his family, so insulting
him this way is a big blow and you may not like his reaction.
3. "My mother warned me you'd do this"-- Or, worse
still, my mother warned me about you! Something may have seriously infuriated
you to say this, but what you're doing is letting him know there are others in
your camp. You're passing the impression that you and your family often discuss
him behind his back, and apparently, your mum or some member of your family
despises him. You should never let the opinion of others dictate your relationship.
If your mother says, "he's stingy or he's cheap." say to him,
"honey, why do you sometimes seem reluctant to spend money on things we
need?"
4. Just leave it, I'll do it myself --This is by all means
hurtful. First, it tells your husband that you consider him almost unreliable
in handling some things around the house all by himself. Secondly, it's just
plain demeaning for any adult to hear that his efforts are not appreciated. If
there's something you think he's not handling right, there are sweeter ways to
tell him so.
5. You always disappoint --- Except if the man doesn't care about
you, no man will be happy to hear this from his woman. If he has disappointed
you a couple of times by not giving you some money he promised or not buying
you something he assured you he would get you, for all you know, he might be
feeling really bad about it, telling him with venom how disappointed you are
might only make him feel even worse and he might just wait for the right time
to fire back at you.
6. Do you really think you look as good as you believe you look?
--- This one smirks of envy. You probably know your hubby isn't a bad looking
bloke, I mean, isn't that one of the reasons you fell for him in the first
place? But you don't like the fact that he's still looking young despite the
fact that both of you are advancing in age and he's still getting some
attention from the opposite sex. If you go on trying to deflate his ego like
this, and he suspects it's out of envy, he might begin to question your love for
him and decrease his love for you.
7. Ugh! We're hanging out with him/them again?---The moment you
signed those dotted lines, you must be ready to accommodate all of your
husband's friends and family members. There might be a few of them that
are intolerable, but you must do everything to tolerate them. So, if your hubby
says its time to go out with a friend you don't like, be careful how you
express your disgust. One thing is for sure, he's not likely to kick his friend
or a family member out of his life because of you.
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