Saturday, 20 May 2017

Can One Still Be Trusted after Cheating?

No doubt infidelity and lack of trust are the major causes of conflict among married people today. The duo are inseparable. The fear is, when you fall to infidelity and it's noticed by your partner, what do you do next? Is it enough to say "I am sorry"? Or is your partner expecting more than that?
 It is obviously not very easy for your partner to let go the thought of being cheated on even after you have been forgiven. If not well resolved, it can build up untrust which can linger for a longer time than you can imagine. Sometimes till "forever"

If you have cheated on your partner and he/she discovered, apologise. Then take a step further to ensure it does not happen again.

But how do you do that?

You may start by cutting off the relationship with the man or mistress whom you have "committed adultery" with. Next, it is necessary to terminate of minimise your friendship with men and women you mingle with who are in same category. You never know who will lead you to it next. With all sincerity, tender an unreserved apology (See how to apologise here). Assure your partner that you will never do anything that might risk losing them; own it and mean it. Cut informal communications with the person you had affair with.

It is highly difficult to regain your partners trust if you don't cut off your "closeness" with the man/mistress.  In fact you need to adopt a completely open policy with your spouse so that the opportunities for suspicion wont arise. Try your best to be open to your spouse, tell them where you are going to and whom you be hanging out with. If you are going to be late back from work, call them to explain. You can take an extra step to leave your cell phone unlocked, your email accessible (if possible) and credit card statements on the table. This may be hard to do but it shows you have nothing to hide. Your life and behaviour must be completely transparent. Remember you are doing for love and regain trust.

Some mistakes are not deliberate and every one is bound to make mistakes but if you are sincerely sorry about the offense you committed, you will earn forgiveness. It's a very important tip to keep in mind if you genuinely wish to regain trust of your spouse after cheating on him/her. Concentrate on ways to win your partners trust back without been frustrated if it takes time. After all the affair was your fault and not theirs so this is the price you have to pay, Sacrifice your ego if you want to save your marriage.

Finally, understand that your partner's attitude towards you due to the act is not in hatred for you but a simple and natural sign of jealousy which is normal with couples that care about each other. He or she wants to have you and not share you.

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