Take Your Marriage / Relationship to a new level in 2018; Just do these 5 things... the 4th is key!

Its the end of another year and the beginning of a new one. For a lot of people, the past twelve months have been very difficult ones financially and emotionally. For couples, never in the history of our country has the marriage institution been under such a severe threat as this. While we're battling with the extremely harsh effects of the recession on one side, our marriage institution was under terrible siege on the other side. It was becoming common place to wake up in the morning to the news of either a man who just butchered his wife, or a wife who just ripped her husband's stomach apart in a fit of anger. Sad, isn't it? But, hey, here at Teekayspeaks, we are optimists and we guarantee you all of this would soon be put behind us. We will all begin to enjoy unending bliss in our relationships and unions again, but we have to start working on it from this minute. Surely, there are hundreds of marriages out there that are a bit far from being blissful, here are tips to help you turn your relationship around and take it to a whole new level next year.

COUPLES KILLING EACH OTHER: TIME FOR PARENTS TO WAKE UP

Have you been following the crazy trend happening in our young couples' marriages lately? Aren't you scared? You should be. Every parent, and parents to be, should. This is totally alien to us. In our time, we rarely saw our parents turn each other into punching bags, much less perform mindless knife- stabbing rituals on each other like one who's been put under some strange spell. We didn't see any of that, thankfully. But what we're seeing now isn't anything anyone should feel unconcerned about, even if it hasn't happened to you or anybody close to you. For some reasons we simply cannot explain, our sons and daughters have now turned into some sort of vampires who now seek only to take the lives of the one person they claimed they would love and cherish till death do them part - their partner.

5 SURE STEPS TO TURN YOUR MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP AROUND THIS SEASON

This one's for couples who haven't exactly been having a pleasant time with their relationship/marriage in the last couple of months. Xmas is here and its time to be merry. Families, couples, everyone's gearing up for the Xmas celebrations, but you, you have no idea what direction yours would even take. You and your partner haven't been doing stuffs together lately. You guys barely talk, you try to be polite to each other, but nothing real and natural, all you do is strive to tolerate each other without causing any conflict. This is the Xmas season, the time to loosen up and enjoy the euphoria of the time. It is the time to show love to one another and tighten up that bond between you guys before it finally snaps. Here are few tips you could give a shot if you're desperate to make things work between you and your beau this season.

..."It just happened"

Do you know that many married people; men and women alike who have extramarital affairs do not purposely go out to find a romantic interest outside of their marriage? Many people say, “I didn’t mean for it to happen; it just happened.” But these things “just happen” when we “play with fire” and put ourselves in situations that are difficult to control. 

When we feel a spouse is not attentive to our needs, we can easily feel that we have “fallen in love” with someone else who does seem to give us give us the attention we crave for. When you feel ignored or under-appreciated by a spouse, you should communicate your struggles with your spouse and avoid the danger of seeking comfort elsewhere, especially in an opposite sex.

WANT TO AMPLIFY YOUR SEX LIFE? TRY USING ALL YOUR FIVE SENSES PERFECTLY

 

One of the longest running battles couples all over the world have had to contend with time and time again, is the issue of lack of sexual desire for each other. As couples grow together in marriage, sometimes, they begin to lack that desire to bond together sexually. A lot of factors can be attributed to this. It is no longer uncommon to hear Naija women say, 'I can't remember the last time my husband touched me. And when he does once in blue moon, he can be annoyingly selfish about it.To help couples who still desire each other physically and intimately and seek ways to improve their sex ,life, here are pretty simple ways to do so by using all of your five senses...

Please how can we stop this madness???

Have you noticed the trend yet? Have you been reading the papers lately and keeping abreast with the shocking reports of married couples who are slaughtering each other lately? Are you aware that between late last year to now, there must be at least over a dozen wives and husbands who are in various prisons scattered all over the country for murdering their partners? Sounds unbelievable, right? But its the fact, not fiction. There is evil in the land. Couples, mostly married, are slaughtering each other out of blind rage and bitterness. Couples who once professed love to each other, swore to love each other till their dying day now despise each other so much they hardly can bare to breath in the same air under the same roof.

Torkwase Kuraun (Teekay Speaks) wins Female Writer/Blogger of the Year 2017

Torkwase Vncent Kuraun also known as Teekay Speaks has been awarded The "Female writer/Blogger of the year" 2017. The award was presented on the Benue Women of Fire Awards held on November 17 2017.

Torkwase is the founder of the award winning Relationship Blog, Teekayspeaks.com and the Premier Matching Website; Imetmysoulmate.com.

She however dedicates the award to the entire Teekay Speaks Team and to her Facebook Family and Fans.

5 Major things you should NEVER use to judge your partner

Perhaps the biggest key to a long lasting and enduring relationship is realizing, and of course accepting, whether it suits you or not, that you and your sweetheart are not two same people and will never be. You are two different people from different backgrounds, with diverse individual choices, beliefs and attributes. Owing to your different individual backgrounds, you're unlikely to match in these different areas a hundred percent. When you date someone or married to your partner without judging them or holding them in contempt for anything ultimately guarantees longevity in such marriage or relationship. The following are five major things you should never judge your partner by.

1. THE PAST: There is nothing as absolutely terrible as judging your partner by what they have done in the past or what they were before you guys met. Everybody has a past. You have yours too. Judging your partner by theirs would only

WHEN YOU AND YOUR PARTNER DRIFT APART: THE DANGEROUS SIGNALS

Sometimes, we don't even understand how we find ourselves in this situation. You can't even put a finger on it, you just realize you and your partner have slowly and steadily drifted apart. And you begin to wonder, where did we miss it? Where did we go wrong? For some others, they CAN put a finger on it. They know exactly where they missed it and how they missed it. Indeed, they are both conscious of the fact that they're drifting apart but they do not seem to mind the consequences.But for those who are still groping in the dark for answers, here are the dangerous signals to look out for that confirm to you that you and your once loving partner have started to slowly drift apart.

WANT TO MARRY THE WRONG PERSON? THEN TRY THESE 10 TIPS

From childhood, many of us have a clear picture of who our dream man or woman would be. We even fantasize about it. We dream it. And as we grow older, we begin to see if we can actualize this dream and find that particular partner we'd always wanted. We come across so many suitable and possible dream partners and at some point or the other we had to make our choice. Sometimes we make the right choice, sometimes, we don't. Life can throw a whole lot at us sometimes that we get consumed and make mistakes. Here are ten possible mistakes that might lead you to making the wrong choice of partner.  

1. Expecting the change that may never come. 

This is perhaps the most common mistake women make. A lot of women

Is your man a BULLY?: See how you can overcome the pain...

Sometimes in our relationships or marriage, things don't turn out the way they should for us. As we evolve with the relationship/ marriage, we change. Sometimes, we change for the good, and sadly, sometimes, it could be for the bad. The shock of watching how our once loving and affectionate partners transform into a totally different human being, almost like a complete stranger, can really be shattering. This is when the man who once could kiss the ground on which you walked suddenly becomes a sadist who appears to be truly delighted only when he sees you sad. And when that is not happening, he bullies you. He tries to make your day unbearable until he breaks you and you fall apart, only then would he back off and let you be. Now, he is happy. How can a woman endure a marriage/relationship like this? How do you continue to live with a man who seems to have absolutely no feelings for you anymore? Here are some tips we think can help. Now, these may not be foolproof neither can we give you an automatic guarantee that the situation will change drastically. The change, hopefully, will come, but it could be slow. Patience is the watchword here. And of course, prayers. The following are ways we think the pain and the trauma you feel can be overcome. 

NO SELF PITY: This is a cardinal law when you are going through a situation like this. It is in fact, the very first thing you must know, no self pity! Stop feeling

RESPECT IN MARRIAGE - WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW...

In our present world, respect and admiration are rather  objective instead of a reality. We live in in a generation where people support disrespect and ill treatment as a way or an option to even right a wrong... Speaking of admiration and respect, for me it's a two way thing in the sense that the deserving and recipient  have to be worthy enough to be accorded with such. 

Biblically, (Ephesians 5:33, Colossians 3:19) it is written that

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEEKAY...

The Teekay Speaks team wishes a sound Happy Birthday to Torkwase Kuraun (Teekay), the Award winning Blogger (teekayspeaks.com) and founder of the premier Dating Website, imetmysoulmate.com Join us and shout out to her...

(Part 2) IS THIS YOUR CHILD?:SEE WHAT KIDS CAN BECOME WHEN WE'RE NOT THERE FOR THEM

I looked deep into her half shut eyes as she let out the smoke through her nostrils, she was in a world so far away. It was as though she'd been hungry for whatever it was she was smoking for a long time and was glad she was finally getting her fill.

"Ah, I badly needed that," she'd said as she slowly returned to earth. 

"Do you want a puff?" she'd offered me. 

I shook my head quickly. "No, thanks."

She looked at me for a brief spell before swiftly took another long drag. This time, it was even longer. And when puffed out, I could barely see her face, the smoke was everywhere.

"You don't smoke, do you?" She asked me.

"I used to." I answered.

"So, why did you stop?"

IS THIS YOUR CHILD?: SEE WHAT KIDS CAN BECOME WHEN WE ARE NOT THERE FOR THEM

I had been waiting to hear from him. Or at least from his Personal Assistant. I needed the documents I had requested for to publish along with his interview which had to be on the newsstands by Monday, which was only three days away. The SMS he sent to me simply read: "meet me at the same club where we met the other day by 8 pm, a friend's birthday party is holding to night." 

That arrangement didn't sit well with me one bit. The club in question is somewhere on the Island and the meeting time is 8 p.m! My car has been faulty for a while now, taking a cab from the Mainland to the Island around 8 pm and then returning to the Mainland later same night would surely drill a pretty decent hole in my budget. But, then, did I have any other choice? This was part of what I signed up for as a journalist. I arrived the club at a quarter past eight and waited at the lounge for 'Oga' to arrive. I'd already notified him I was waiting. He arrived few minutes to nine and asked his P.A. to come bring me in. I was led through the exquisitely designed interior of the club. It was already filled to the hilt. Heavy music banging, guys and ladies of various shapes digging it out profusely on the dance floor. What more could I expect, it was Friday night, wasn't it? 

The atmosphere looked so strange to me, I guess its because

(PART 2) THE FULL TIME HOUSE WIFE: HER MERITS AND DEMERITS

THE DEMERITS

1. Except if its the man's design that the wife should be a full time house wife, every man loves a hard working and ambitious woman who also brings financial value to the family table.It can be irritating sometimes when the man realizes that his wife can't even afford to cook him a decent meal on her own except she gives her money. Its so bad that some women are so dependent on their husbands that they cannot buy their own sanitary towels until the husband returns home from work! No matter how much he loves her, he would soon start seeing her as a lazy, idle woman who does nothing but eat and sleep all day waiting for him to go work his butts off and bring money home home for her. 

2.  The woman loses her

THE FULL TIME HOUSE WIFE: HER MERITS AND DEMERITS (PART 1)

One of the constant issues that has often plagued marriages has been that of whether the family is better off with the wife as a full time house wife or as a working/ career wife? Sadly, a lot of women have had to sacrifice their jobs, careers, businesses, talents, just to succumb to the husband's wishes of having them stay at home as a full time house wife, taking care of the house and the children. Indeed, for the wealthy class of men, this is strictly a no-go area of discussion. Their wives simply won't work. It is almost an ego thing, they ask their wives how much is the money they're hoping to make as salary working for another that they cannot pay her? So, they arrange and agree with their wives to be paid a certain amount of money every month as salary they would've earned outside if they were working. For some women, this takes care of the problem, as they can now claim to have their own money and have access to it whenever they want instead of turning to their husband for every single thing they need. But for some others, it still doesn't entirely solve the problem. Its not just about the money, its also about her self esteem, knowing she goes out there, engages herself both mentally and physically to earn her own money is what she desires. 

Now, we must must also mention that

10 THINGS EVERY SMART WOMAN MUST KNOW ABOUT MEN

 He Only Pretends Not to Listen

He heard what you said. He's just not interested in hearing it at the moment. Don't try to give your man instructions or talk about your feelings when he's watching TV (especially sports), eating, reading, or has just come home from work. He will only be half listening. His mind is on other things like: will his team win, his day at work, how hungry he is, etc. He can only pay attention to one thing at a time. If he lets you think that he is giving you his full attention, and then you will want to talk to him at these inappropriate moments all the time. If he gives you a detailed response, you'll just continue to talk. If he completely ignores you, you'll get mad. If he pretends that he is listening, you will be content and walk away.

He Does Look at Other Women

Not because he wants to cheat, but because

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR MARRIAGE STARTS TO TASTE SOUR?

A lot of couples are quick to just give up when marriage and relationship issues arise. This is a major reason for the failure of many marriages and relationships today! Relationships require a lot of patience, understanding, love, tolerance and good communication. There will always be issues to deal with in every relationship you get into no matter how sweet it starts or how rosy it promises to be. 

Several  times we admire couples on social media as well as celebrities who flaunt

(PART 2) THE GOLDEN SECRETS OF A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

Wives naturally, like to be praised for, their adornment, marital r/ship & cooking. Always remember to say to her "you are superb & Unique."

Satan tries to be a stakeholder in our marital life. If one spouse is ANGRY, the other must not be ANGRY. Otherwise, Satan has defeated both. Husband & wife should try to be talking to one another with a Smiling Face and a loving heart.It is an act of love and affection and could lower stress level. 

Marital life should be a

THE GOLDEN SECRETS OF A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE (PART 1)

A lot have often wondered, what really makes a marriage successful? How can couples make their marriage work? Why do some people have a happy union and some others don't? Truth of the matter is that, there are no established strategies to making a union work and last, all it requires is equal commitment and devotion from both parties. And of course, the grace of God. But there are some well kept secrets to making a marriage work and last. We consider these secrets very golden, and would like to share some of them with you. 

In any marriage, Gentleness & Softness are always

I always find myself loving a man that doesn't love me, instead I am being adored by those I don't love. What should I do?

I always find myself loving a man that does not love me, instead I am being adored by those I don't love. Sometimes, I end up with the wrong person. What should I do?

You need to take your time and really study or analyse any guy that approaches you before dating him. The reasons you keep finding yourself with the wrong men could either be because you are looking for or attracted to the wrong qualities in men. For example, if you are attracted to guys with "swag"  then it may take you a long time to find a decent man. And you also have to understand that no man is 100% perfect, don't expect to meet a tall, handsome, God fearing, romantic, well to do man that will love you exactly the way you want. If he's handsome and rich with class, then chances are that he's

Who wants an ungreatful wife?

When women hang out together and get down to gisting about stuffs, often times, when they're not talking about fashion, they're busy talking about guys! They're either talking about how their man gives them so much loving or how much heartache he's causing them. When they go on and on about men, you'll begin to wonder if there aren't at least a few good men left. But gisting about each others' partner is not the exclusive reserve of women alone. Men, too, talk about women when they hang out. And we also complain about some of the negatives of our women. Few days ago, myself and some of my colleagues were at the eatery opposite the office having lunch when our discussion veered to women and how increasingly difficult its become these days to maintain a woman in this recession period.    

"Problem with most of our women is that a lot of them are ungrateful", Isaac remarked, packing a mouthful of fried rice. "No matter what you do, they insist you have not done enough, they believe they have given much more to the relationship than you're giving to them."

"But must the strength of every relationship be based on materialistic gains? What in heavens name happened to good old sweet love?" Seun asked, looking into our eyes for answers.

I shrugged. "Who can give you the answer you seek? Only the women themselves can answer that question," I'd offered. "Its not such a nice feeling though, knowing your woman is not appreciative of the little things you do for her.."

"Can you imagine, last week I gave my wife a

5 signs that love may be lacking in your marriage

Today I want to outline some of the signs that love may be lacking in a marriage:

1. Stinginess: If your partner  loves you they wont be stingy to you. John 3: 16

When someone who can give, is not giving to you question the persons love for you, when you are in Love you do some things without thinking twice. You should give your time to your relationship, emotions, material things, and sometimes you give up a goal for the good of someone you love.

Getting Married Soon or Already Married? This piece will help build your marriage.

Marriage as they say, is not a bed of roses. It does not always go as easy as you probably imagined as a child. Havoever, a happy marriage is very possible and achievable if the parties involved do their bits. To make it work, there are some things you need to know.

You must understand that in marriage the reality is as you

PART 2: Whatever is Done in The Dark...

I turned to my wife. She was looking away from me. I could see a tear drop run from straight down the side of her face. I wanted to move a few steps closer to her so I can jolt her to speak to me, but I found my legs had suddenly grown too heavy to carry me. 

"Gina!" I screamed at the top of my wife. That jolted her. She turned to face me. "What in heaven's name is going on here?"

What Ever is Done in The Dark...

When I was much younger and I heard adults say only a woman knows the true father of her child, I was always often puzzled. It didn't quite sink into my head at the time. How could only the woman know the father of her child? Doesn't everybody know the father of her child is her husband? I had wondered. But that was a long time ago. Now, I understand where the adults were coming from then. Today, some medical experts have claimed they have statistics to show that over 50% of the first child in many families are actually not fathered by the man they know as their father. Some have even insisted the percentage is well over 60%. I have found this stunning ever since I stumbled onto it last year. But, truth is, whether the figures are exaggerated or not, this issue remains perhaps one of man's biggest challenges in marriage, especially when the union is one built on insufficient love and lacking in absolute faithfulness. I remember Ade's story. This happened less than a year ago. Its a true life story that can only be described as any man's biggest nightmare, the sort of ordeal you would never wish even on your worst enemy. Read Ade's shocking story and share your thoughts with us afterwards....

8 secrets behind my happy marriage - My True Story

Today I wish to share with you some secrets behind my happy marriage. I'm sure you would love to know why even after 10 years of marriage we still are as happy as newly married couple. Take some time to read through, you may have something to learn from this...

8 Crazy Things Woman (mostly unmarried) do to their Men that are "Silent Turn Off"

Everyone, particularly women, seem to be of the impression that its only men who are capable of doing some really terrible stuff to women. Women can do no wrong, but men? They are the heartless and insensitive creatures. No problems. But take a close look at these 8 crazy things you may probably be doing to your man and see if you still think men are the only ones that do crazy stuffs to women....

10 Key Challenges and Difficulties Men face in Their Marriages, and Why

Talking about issues in marriage, women are not always on the receiving end. Men too face some challenges and difficulties in their marriages, some of which are caused by wives. Today I'll like to share with you some of those challenges, and I hope our women will improve after reading this piece and stop putting their men through this unfortunate situations...

TEN WAYS A GUY CAN CONFIRM HE'S TRULY IN LOVE

A lot of times, we have heard men say things like, "no, I'm not in love, I just like the babe." It's either some of us guys are too ashamed to admit we're in love, possibly because we think it's 'unmanly' to be in love, or because we sincerely have absolutely no idea what it means to be in love. Well, I have decided to help you guys out of your dilemma and I'm even prepared to do it for free! Here are ten sure ways to confirm you're truly in love or not.

1. Distance no longer...

How Crazy is Loving Someone Who Does Not "Deserve Your Love"? The story of Kingsley!

The moment he stepped into my office, I knew he was a man in serious distress. He sounded pretty distraught on the phone, when he called to request a meeting with me, but I wasn't quite expecting he was in such bad shape. I'd only met Kingsley once when a 'Thank you' party was organised for readers of the magazine I was editing at the time.

"I need your help, Mr. Wale," he'd started, his head bowed as he covered his face with his hands. 

"Go on, I'm listening," I'd urged him on when I saw he was taking too long to continue. 

"It's the woman I want to marry..."

"What about her?" I queried.

"I think she's going to kill me!"

I was speechless. I didn't understand him one bit. He explained.

"I met Sandra three years ago and it was love at first sight. Or so I thought. Before I met Sandra, I'd had my own fair share of women. I have dated the prettiest babes any guy can possibly come across. I have broken a few hearts out there but never...

HOW TRUSTWORTHY IS YOUR FRIEND?

How trustworthy are your female friends?  Do you tell them all your secrets?  Do you tell them how many men you have been with? How many abortions you have had and how good your man is in bed?  How you snatched Chioma's boyfriend. How the son you have with Tony doesn't belong to him.... 

The problem of women most times is caused by

10 THINGS MEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WOMEN - Learn in a lighter mood

Believe it or not, no matter how much we pride ourselves that we know a great a deal about our women, often always, we get to realize there's a really great deal about them we don't know. I have always thought women were and still are the most beautiful yet complex creature created by the Almighty. You almost need to be specially gifted to have a clear comprehension of how the mind of a woman works. But trust me, once you get to understand your woman perfectly, they can be the most adorable treasure to possess.And yes, they can love you for life, even if it means sacrificing their own happiness to see you happy. Here a few things men should also know about women. As casual and as unserious these things may seem, they can cause serious friction if not properly handled.

1. If you run into your ex-girlfriend in public in company of your woman, the first thing you MUST do is

A TWISTED VIEW OF MARRIAGE!!!

It is unbelievable the kinds of views different people have about marriage. It must be said that some of them have some of the most disturbing and annoying views any woman can stomach. You can not begin to imagine how warped some of these views and opinions are. 

Let us start this way:People will see a man washing his clothes and instead of minding their business, they'll say "Ahh, Oga Victor, go and marry so you'll stop washing".

They'll see a man cooking and be like

HOW TO MAKE YOUR WIFE HAPPY

A lot of times, some men practically struggle to decipher the right things to do to make their wife happy. Some achieve this once in a while, but the challenge soon becomes how to keep her happy, for when you have a woman in the house that is happy almost all of the time, then you can be sure your home will be a haven. That is the sort of home any man would look forward to coming home to after a hard day's job. You want to experience that kind of home? The following are a few tips you can work on if you're a truly loving and affectionate man who desires nothing but to see his wife happy all the time. 

BEAUTIFUL RECEPTION: After returning from work, school, travel or